James Ogunyemi, Author at Better Than Newlyweds

LETTING BITTERNESS GO | Better Than Newlyweds

August 2, 2014 by James Ogunyemi

Keys to a better marriage: letting bitterness go:

Let your bitterness go. Don’t hold on to it. Don’t allow it to eat you up until it turns to anger or hatred. Bitterness can show up in many ways in your relationship, it can come from past unresolved hurts and pains, unfilled expectations, your spouse hurting you with unkind words or actions and of course sins.

Bitterness grows when we fail to forgive and let go. Jesus asked us to always be in the forgiveness mode when He told the disciples to forgive 70 times 7 Mat 18:22. I know what you might be thinking, we all know we should forgive but its not easy. Jesus also said, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice” (Ephesians 4:31).

Forgiveness is very important in moving forward in any relationship. So the question is how do we do that. First if possible you need to talk to your mate about the problems. Do you know sometimes you mate may not even be aware they are hurting you. You need to be willing to look inwardly. Can you pray and seek God on what is causing this bitterness, what is at the root. Once you know and understand the reasons you can repent and pray the word over it and allow the Holy Spirit to begin dealing with it.

Of course you must learn to forgive your spouse. You will not always feel it at first. But work at it. Feeling follow confession. Begin watering the relationship with kind words and strive to find ways to build one another up. Most of all begin praying for one another and pray together to soften one another hearts and build your relationship with the Father. Strive to become better communicators to help stop hurting one another. If nothing else be willing to humble yourself and seek counseling.

I believe every relationship can be saved if each spouse is willing to yield to God’s leading and learn to forgive one another. This is not an easy key but it has great potential for freedom and liberty. Learn to let go bitterness and learn to forgive. When you do this, you will live a life of peace.

James Ogunyemi

DON’T TAKE YOUR SPOUSE FOR GRANTED

July 14, 2014 by James Ogunyemi

DON’T TAKE YOUR SPOUSE FOR GRANTED

There are times we take people for granted including our relationships, most especially our relationship with our spouse or partner.

Never take your relationship for granted. When we do that we are making room for the enemy to infiltrate our homes. The word says that he that finds a wife finds a good thing. That also means the reverse is true that a wife that finds a husband finds a good thing. God gave you his wonderful grace and mercy when he let you have one of his special children. We are not perfect but we are special in our own way.

The truth is God gives us that special someone to help us grow and to help them grow. So you need to be ready for some stretching and a little adjustment. Another thing is to never let your marriage becomes ordinary or just one of those things.

Your marriage is superb and extra ordinary and you should see it that way. What you should do is to be on your knees everyday and thank God that he gave you such a wonderful person and learn how to be a blessing and a helper. God has entrusted to your care a great gift. You need to learn how to admire one another for your God given gifts and abilities.

There is nothing more important then seeking God daily for your spouse, family and relationship, you pray that God would make your union a blissful one. God has truly blessed you to have a mate that loves and cares for you and the one that will stand with you and by you in tough and rough times.

You stand in your commitment towards your spouse and believe in him/her. Take your home seriously and guide it jealously. Watch and guard your relationship. Don’t take anything for granted. Remember the ace/s is in your hands to make your marriage a success.

BUILDING UP ONE ANOTHER

June 15, 2014 by James Ogunyemi

BUILDING UP ONE ANOTHER:
The word build is another word for nurture. When you build, you are making an edifice, structure; you are constructing something visible that will catch attention and easily noticeable.

Do you know that your mate is suppose to be the most important person in your life after God?. If you have your children, your parents or friends in your spouses place of honor then you are asking for problems. You are crashing your marriage.

You cannot put the cart before the horse its not going to work. I think one of the problems of Christian Marriages is putting the cart before the horse. We make preferential treatment to our friends etc at the expense of our home.

We need to choose everyday to love our spouse with an undying love, find ways to compliments them, praise them for things they do, honor and respect them.

In building up one another we need quality time together. Be sure to touch them, hold them, hug them, kiss them.
We need to spend quality time in prayers too.
Let the line of communication be opened. Create time to talk, chat, discuss and be free to ask questions.

If you find your mate is better at something then you are do not try to tear them down praise them for their abilities and gifts. Work to help them achieve greatness. If you find them overwhelmed seek to find ways to help lift the burden.
In building up your spouse, you make room for peace to reign in your marriage. You are making room for greater things in your home.
Start out today to build up and not tear down.
James Ogunyemi

DON’T TAKE YOUR SPOUSE FOR GRANTED

June 10, 2014 by James Ogunyemi

DON’T TAKE YOUR SPOUSE FOR GRANTED

There are times we take people for granted including our relationships, most especially our relationship with our spouse or partner.

KEEPING SEX FREE

May 24, 2014 by James Ogunyemi

Keeping sex free
We have probably all heard it, they make jokes about it on TV that married couples are always saying “I don’t get sex, I am married” or some other comment like that. This happens a lot because sex is uses as a control feature in a relationship. If you do everything right you can have it but if you do anything wrong the answer is no. The bible says in 1 Cor. 7:5 paraphrased to only not give each other sex for times of fasting and prayers and then to come back together so you are not tempted by the devil. God understands our need for human closeness and actually designed sex to be wonderful and fulfilling. There are so many biological processes that are restored and renewed by this act within a married couple. I encourage all of you reading this today to not use sex only for reward and punishment. If you are doing this you can drive each other apart. Once the sex grows cold in a relationship it does not take a lot for the devil to start dislodging some other bricks of your marriage house. So I tell you all to take up this key and once again become open to the loving advances of each other. Maybe its a little time in each others arms this is exactly what’s needed to start turning your relationship around. .

AFFILIATE DISCLOSURE