James Ogunyemi, Author at Better Than Newlyweds

Keys to a Better Marriage: Letting Bitterness Go | Better Than Newlyweds

April 13, 2014 by James Ogunyemi

Keys to a better marriage: letting bitterness go:

Let your bitterness go. Don’t hold on to it. Don’t allow it to eat you up until it turns to anger or hatred. Bitterness can show up in many ways in your relationship, it can come from past unresolved hurts and pains, unfilled expectations, your spouse hurting you with unkind words or actions and of course sins.

Bitterness grows when we fail to forgive and let go. Jesus asked us to always be in the forgiveness mode when He told the disciples to forgive 70 times 7 Mat 18:22. I know what you might be thinking, we all know we should forgive but its not easy. Jesus also said, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice” (Ephesians 4:31).

Forgiveness is very important in moving forward in any relationship. So the question is how do we do that. First if possible you need to talk to your mate about the problems. Do you know sometimes you mate may not even be aware they are hurting you. You need to be willing to look inwardly. Can you pray and seek God on what is causing this bitterness, what is at the root. Once you know and understand the reasons you can repent and pray the word over it and allow the Holy Spirit to begin dealing with it.

Of course you must learn to forgive your spouse. You will not always feel it at first. But work at it. Feeling follow confession. Begin watering the relationship with kind words and strive to find ways to build one another up. Most of all begin praying for one another and pray together to soften one another hearts and build your relationship with the Father. Strive to become better communicators to help stop hurting one another. If nothing else be willing to humble yourself and seek counseling.

I believe every relationship can be saved if each spouse is willing to yield to God’s leading and learn to forgive one another. This is not an easy key but it has great potential for freedom and liberty. Learn to let go bitterness and learn to forgive. When you do this, you will live a life of peace.

James Ogunyemi.

HOW TO REKINDLE INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE | Better Than Newlwyeds

April 5, 2014 by James Ogunyemi

How To Rekindle Intimacy In Your Marriage

Intimacy can be revived, rekindled in a marriage if both parties involved are ready to have the flame of love burn again. What is Intimacy? In my own definition it means “INTO ME SEE”. You have nothing to hide. You are asking your partner to see everything about you. No hidden agenda whatsoever.

So how do we rekindled intimacy?

BY ACTION AND ATTITUDE Don’t just tell your mate you love her. Show her that you love her. Tell her why you love her. She knows you love her; she craves to know why she wants you to say it and act it. By saying “I love you”. This increases intimacy in your marriage. By attitude you reintroduce the element of surprise by buying her unexpected gifts and organize surprise outing etc. Identify patterns and break routines and protocols. Break away from distractions and just celebrate her. Celebrate anything and everything. Strive to out-please each other. Out-pleasing each other means putting your spouse’s happiness first.

DON’T COMPARE: Marriage breaks down when you constantly compare your spouse with your Ex or someone in your office etc. Marriage also breaks down when you constantly compare your sacrifices to your mate’s. Stop comparison begin to complement.

BY ATTENTION AND AFFECTION : Your spouse wants and needs your attention and affection. She wants you to show it, demonstrate it and act it. Every woman needs affection and attention. When you do this, you rekindle the intimacy in your marriage.

DON’T BE IRRATIONAL: One of the major destructive element of marriage is being irrational. Irrational decisions can cause the break up in marriage. So don’t be irrational or judgmental towards your spouse. It kills the flame of love. Your behavior should not be eccentric towards your spouse. Don’t prove to be the “Boss” you have nothing to prove in the first place. Men are not Bosses and should not but Beacon. Light to be seen by his partner.

James Ogunyemi

STEPS TO MARRIAGE RECONCILIATION | Better Than Newlyweds

April 4, 2014 by James Ogunyemi

STEPS TO MARRIAGE RECONCILIATION

These steps will put you and your spouse back on the right track if you will prayerfully follow it and ask God to help both of you put them into practice .

1. Swallow Your Pride – The Bible says, pride comes before the fall. That means pride will always lead to your destruction. In this case, the destruction of your marriage is at hand if you don’t swallow your pride. So take a long hard look at yourself. Are you the kind of person you really want to see. That’s right. Even if you believe your partner is the blame for the breakdown of your marriage. Examine yourself to see what you could have done differently. Now accept responsibility for your actions and be willing to admit your mistakes. None is perfect and we all make mistakes. Be ready to say am sorry and lower your ego.

2. Forgive – Once you’ve swallowed pride, you should ask for forgiveness and then extend forgiveness to your spouse for their offenses against you. Forgiveness must always be a two way street. It is not and should not be a one way lane. If you think she is the one that offends you, you too must have done something that was overlooked at.

3. Stop Blaming – Don’t waste time pointing fingers at each other. This sort of behavior is unproductive. Instead of approaching your conversations from the standpoint of me vs. you, approach your discussions from the standpoint of us vs. the problem. By doing so, you will avoid the blame game.

4. Learn from the Past – Use your marriage mistakes as a springboard to propel your relationship to a higher level. If you learn from your mistakes, you are less likely to repeat them.

5.Don’t bring the past into the future. Leave the Past in the Past – In other words, let go and move forward. Don’t remind your spouse of what s/ he did or how things use to be. If you really want reconciliation you’ve got to let go of the past. The past is history and should not be brought into the future.

6. Be Patient – Your marriage did not fall apart over night and therefore cannot be repaired over night. Rebuilding your marriage is a process that will take a lot of patience and determination from you.

7. Get Godly Counsel – Don’t seek ungodly or unqualified counsel from friends and peers who don’t know the Lord. As a child of God, you should only accept counsel from fellow believers who are spiritually mature and from those that God has called into such ministry.

8. Allow the Holy Spirit to work in you and your spouse. It is when we submit to the leadership and guidance of the Holy Spirit that we can have true reconciliation. The Holy Spirit knows us all and knows how to deal with us when we surrender to him.

9. Be Honest. Be honest with your spouse. Especially in the area of finance. This is one of the thing that rocks marriages and capsize the boat of most marriage. We should also be honest in all other areas. Be ready to admit when confronted with wrong and be quick to say am sorry. This will help marriage union to be fruitful.

10. Control your Temper and Anger. One of the steps to true reconciliation in marriages is the control of temper and anger management. Your temper can mar things coupled with fierce anger. You should be able to put it under control. Lastly Trust one another. Live in trust and allow trust to rule your home. James Ogunyemi

What is marriage? | Better Than Newlyweds

April 2, 2014 by James Ogunyemi

WHAT IS MARRIAGE
Marriage is a deliberate, conscious, prayerul selection of your choice of individual whom you think you can live with happily there after.
You think in terms of enjoy this union all the way and while it lasts.
Marriage is also a careful choice of partner, deliberate courtship, slow integration amongst two partners, joyful and colourful wedding, early stormy waters, mid stormy waters and late hours stormy waters. standing by binding vows and contract, eventual budding and steady growth, strong foundation laid with objective focus, never backing out or divorcing and eventual longevity, success
Yes this is what marriage is all about.
It is a union of two individuals from different backgrounds, culture, upbringing and character coming together to become one.
In God’s mathematics the two are 1 and not 2. That is 1 man +1 woman =1 marriage.
It is a mystery on its own. It defile mathematics, arithmetic, calculus etc.
It is God that instituted it but we must maintain it.
Marriage is a good thing, it is created to be enjoyed and not struggle with. It is not to be managed nor damaged but accomplished in its sweetness.

James Ogunyemi

DON’T GIVE UP ON YOUR MARRIAGE: PARTNER WITH GOD

March 28, 2014 by James Ogunyemi

DON’T GIVE UP ON YOUR MARRIAGE: PARTNER WITH GOD
Marriage is full of ups & downs….the magic happens when you two can share in both good and bad days! Dont rob you marriage by giving up in the hard times, troubles dont last always! God is more than able to Fix whatsoever is broken in your marriage. Believe that your marriage will work.

Your believe system has a lot to do with the outcome of your marriage, either it goes on or it crashes by the way side.
Whatever is happening in your marriage you can work it out and bring the best out of it.

Broken marriages does not glorify God, He takes no glory in failure and failed marriage. God’s name is glorified when your marriage is successful.

Partner with God in your marriage and see a great turn around.

James Ogunyemi

STEPS TO MARRIAGE RECONCILIATION

AFFILIATE DISCLOSURE