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Better Than Newlyweds

Where the Honeymoon never ends!

Over 11 years ago Wil asked me to trust him | Guest Blogger: Meeke Addison |Better Than Newlyweds

June 27, 2016 by Meeke

My first recollection of my father is at the age of ten when our mom drove us from New Orleans to Dallas to see him. For me it felt like a meeting. We were supposed to immediately feel a connection. It was odd, I’ll never forget it.

Nine years later I would visit him on my own in an attempt to know him…to love him. It was still odd.
Three years after that my sister and I visited again. There is something about the draw of a father. When there’s been a void there, almost magnetically you keep trying to connect.

This visit was different he wanted to drive us around Dallas and show us the places we lived and the places he desired to live. As we drove he spoke freely, his eyes on the road provided a convenient distraction for him. Without looking at me with his deep Texas drawl he said, “Listen sometimes life doesn’t turn out how you plan, it’s not what you wanted or what you like. You wish you could change it but you can’t it’s done.” His words were failing him. I turned to look at him, “I forgive you,” I said.

Something happened in that moment, connection, he was my dad. He was human. As a Christian I understood failure and my own need for forgiveness, he was flawed like me. I could hug him freely, touch his arm and feel I was a part of him. This “heartless man” loved me enough to apologize for the damage that was fatherlessness. I’ll never forget it.

I rarely remember this moment publicly but when I do I’m reminded of the love of the Father and the fact that my own confession afforded me a forgiveness that not only lifted the weight of guilt and sin but gave me a relationship that gave me my identity.

My father died 6 years ago, weeks before our first son was due. It was sad, like the passing of a celebrity, you know them…kinda. So you mourn the loss of what you knew.

The Lord has been merciful to me. He has been a father to the fatherless and He blessed me with a husband who came with an amazing dad. He called me daughter and shared his regrets and triumphs with me. (He would require a separate post) I cherish the six years I had with him before his passing.

Today, when I watch my extraordinary husband playing with our children my heart is so full. I look at my daughters and I know they have no idea how blessed they are. When he says, “Good job, JD.” I get emotional. When he provokes Nathaniel (2) to chase him through the house I want to freeze time. He is not dramatic, overly expressive, or fond of too much attention but he loves us, he loves them. And they know it.

Over 11 years ago Wil asked me to trust him. He told me he would show me a Biblical picture of family and male headship. His task was great. He has kept his word. And the futures of our children are forever affected because of him.

Nothing replaces the love of a father. The Enemy’s attack on this bond almost confirms it. No mother can replace a father, and no father is disposable. Our fathers in many ways become our first point of reference for the Father. What have they told us about Him?

I love these three men and what they have each shown me about fatherhood. I thank God for them. Thank God that He redeems, restores, and secures.

 


13528700_538823396300822_1708152677856995032_nMeeke and her husband host Airing the Addisons. It is a daily three-hour look at marriage, family and pop culture, Listen daily here:  http://www.urbanfamilytalk.com

 

 

 

HTAlso, check out her new devotional, Hard Truths. Click the image for more info!

Filed Under: Better Than Newlyweds, Marriage Monday Tagged With: Airing the Addisons, Hard Truths

Let’s be SO Married

February 4, 2013 by Meeke

Wil the Great and Me2 Recently Wil the Great had to travel out of town. He was supposed to be gone Tuesday to Friday. No big deal for most couples, I’m sure. The thing is Wil the Great and I usually travel together. We actually prefer it that way. We enjoy each other’s company and road trips especially, provide us the much needed time to simply converse…uninterrupted. This time, however he was going alone and was almost certainly going to miss our oldest child’s birthday.

Through a wonderful change of plans he was able to cut the trip back a day. He’d be back late but he’d be back on Moriah’s birthday!! I could hardly wait. Two nights of him away was about as much as I could stand. As the minutes ticked down I was bursting inside as I anticipated the text message that said we’re within the city limits. When I could stand it no more I took to Facebook to express my giddy school girl eagerness to see my best friend walk through the door. Here’s what I said:

–That I-know-it’s-just-two-more-hours-but-I-can’t-wait-for-your-return-I-realize-there’s a-big-hole-when-you’re-gone feeling! Wives do you know what I mean?!–

I try to reserve mushy posts for Valentines Day and Anniversaries but for some reason I was just unashamed to “let my marriage show.” Most of the time we’re quick to “share” all the negatives associated with marriage. I mean think about it, we usually tend to down play our affection for our husband or wife because to express it, is perceived as weakness. If you’re a wife- loving, honoring, and submitting to your husband makes you “antiquated” or “stupid”. If you’re a husband- loving, considering, or valuing your wife’s opinions makes you “whipped” or “henpecked”. Sadly we allow people even friends to pressure us into concealing our marriage.

What if you were to let it show? What if when someone asked you to make a commitment or take on a new task you proudly said, “Let me check with Josh, he may have something planned of which I’m unaware.” Or the next time your boss asks you to stay late on short notice what if you said, “That shouldn’t be a problem, let me just speak with my wife. I want to make sure she’s able to plan around this, or push dinner back.”

When we let our marriage show we are actually displaying a love that mirrors the love Christ has for the Church. Love is considerate, so what’s wrong with letting people see that? Love is committed why do we need to hide it?

marriagecertificate

Wil the Great and I have a wonderful friend who is single and hangs out with our family quite a bit. When he saw my Facebook post he gave me a good-natured hard time. He later joked at our breakfast table saying, Wil and I need to “quit being so married!” We all laughed at that comment. But I couldn’t get it out of my mind. SO MARRIED!! That’s exactly what I want to be. I thought I was content to be married but if there is something more or deeper or even further reaching, then that’s what I want.

So to the sales associate who tried to get me to switch banks right inside the store and get $25 instantly!! I could have simply said “I’m not interested.” But my aim is to let my marriage show. So to her I replied, “Oh I’d have to discuss this with my husband, we never make decisions like this independently of one another.” Ah yes the wonderful feeling of being “so married.”

How will you let your marriage show this week? What impact could it have on those around you? Better than that how will it make your spouse feel to know you wear your marriage proudly? Best of all what joy will it bring to the heart of the Father to witness a movement of people who understand the love connection represented by marriage and are unashamed to let it show?

marriageshow

One of the best sermons I’ve ever heard was on John 3:16. It was entitled “For God SO Loved the World” the entire message focused on just how much God loves us. He didn’t JUST love us, He SO loved us!! He SO loved us that He gave His Son as the payment for our debt! Ponder that!

Every chance you get let your marriage show! Let it show through the eye rolls, sighs, and snide remarks. Bless God for your spouse and the utter relief of navigating life together. And when you’re done, practice being SO married this week.

Meeke

Filed Under: Better Than Newlyweds Tagged With: Bless God, family, His Son, life, marriage

Better than Brittle

February 2, 2013 by Meeke

Wil the Great and Me Me: Wil look at this 2 lb. bucket of peanut brittle I got on sale at Sams. It was $2.91, Christmas clearance….do you like peanut brittle? Wil: Um no… Me: But you love mixed nuts, this has peanuts in it! Wil: It’s kinda not the same thing. Me: Wow I can’t believe I bought this huge bucket and you don’t even like it! Wil: It’s alright it won’t go to waste, it’ll be taken care of.. Me: (trying to be offended but unable to muster it…cuz it’s true…) Ahahahahaha (Mental Trip: That’s why I didn’t get you any mixed nuts from Sams… and you should know it was like a thousand pound can…however NOT on clearance so the can is still there. Merry UnChristmas!)

In our relationship with our spouse we have so many opportunities to be offended. I think when we actually step back we realize that a lot of the things we waste time angry about are things we could have actually chosen to laugh about and in so doing create a fun Facebook post.

I could have taken Wil’s comment as a slam or an attack on my weight. I could have pointed out his insensitivity or reminded him of the fact that I’ve carried and delivered his three children back to back from 2007 to 2010. I could have held out my list of daily duties that make it a struggle for me to get to the gym. I could have dramatically declared my cooking strike. Or silently initiated my bedroom strike. As funny as these possibilities may be, most of us wives… do, have done, or will do this. Unfortunately, for both parties we lose time and unknowingly we injure relationship.

When I laughed at Wil the Great’s accurate assessment that I’ll have no problem taking care of the two- pound tub of peanut brittle I was actually creating safety in our relationship. A safety I’m actually desperate for. Conversely, when I pick apart everything he says. Or tell him what he means when he speaks, I’m creating volatility. I’m actually designing a man who will be so unsure of my responses from incident to incident that in many cases he will simply choose to remain silent. Which will anger me because as a woman built in my DNA is a craving for deep communication.

If you’re a wife reading this, make the decision to choose to see the best in your husband. Choose to filter his comments through the strong conviction that he loves you. When you do that you will create laughter and joy even at your expense. It’s worth it because with each of these moments you’re getting closer to the marriage you would script if you were Francine Rivers or Karen Kingsbury. There will be plenty of opportunities to hash out legitimate offenses such as: toilet paper roll replacement, trash can retrieval, or the necessity of warming your cold feet on his warm legs. I’m simply saying don’t wast time on counterfeit offenses. 🙂

By the way I’m almost done with the peanut brittle and it hasn’t taken very long. I guess Wil the Great can’t help his prophetic bent.

Behold the actual two-pound tub of brittle. What a yummy find! I love clearance!
brittle
– Meeke

Filed Under: Better Than Newlyweds, Communication is KEY! Tagged With: communication, DNA, marriage

Hi, I’m Stacy!

I am married to the Love of my life... my Prince. We strive daily to have a marriage better than newlyweds. We want to know each other better than when we were first wed. We want to please God by serving each other. Marriage is so important as it represents the relationship between God and His church... we must protect it and fight for ours. Read More…

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679599: The Love Dare The Love Dare
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