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Better Than Newlyweds

Where the Honeymoon never ends!

Don’t Complain | Mrs. Scherer

July 22, 2013 by Mrs.Scherer

Our Pastor led a great teaching on finding joy in conflict. With any relationship there is bound to be some occassional conflict, but it got me thinking about our marriages. How do we deal with conflict in marriage?

With social media vehicles like Facebook and Twitter, airing conflict about our spouses in public has become really easy. I’ve been guilty of it. (I hope not recently, as it’s an area that I really felt convicted and have tried to repent and change my ways. If you ever catch me doing it, please hold me accountable!)

Several years ago, John and I were going through a pretty rough time. I spouted off every grievance I had against him to anyone and everyone who would listen. One day, I was sharing my drama with a friend and co-worker. He said to me, “Dani, if I were sitting here with John, what would he say about you?” It completely caught me off guard. I thought about it for a second and responded, “John would never say anything negative about me in public.”

Wowza!! Ok God, you’ve got my attention now! I could write a book about how that simple, truth-filled question from a friend – who was clearly put in my path by God – changed my life. It was the beginning of a journey seeking forgiveness, repenting, and quite honestly completely turning our marriage around.

It’s hard to do sometimes, but think about the bigger picture. Do you love your spouse? Will saying something negative about them help or will it just end up hurting the relationship?

My advice from experience and supported throughout the scriptures is don’t speak negatively about your spouse or post social media messages about what’s annoying you. Instead pray about it. Pray that you would see the situation from God’s view and that He would grant you wisdom for handling it. Seek forgiveness, peace and joy.

Dear friends, you always followed my instructions when I was with you. And now that I am away, it is even more important. Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.

Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people. Hold firmly to the word of life; then, on the day of Christ’s return, I will be proud that I did not run the race in vain and that my work was not useless. But I will rejoice even if I lose my life, pouring it out like a liquid offering to God, just like your faithful service is an offering to God. And I want all of you to share that joy. Philippians 2:12-17

If you are interested in watching the whole message series, “Find Joy”, please visit Mission Trails Church – Mission Valley.

 

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Filed Under: Better Than Newlyweds Tagged With: Complaining, Dani Scherer, God, John Scherer, life, marriage

Physical Therapy | Mrs. Scherer

July 14, 2013 by Mrs.Scherer

Went to my first physical therapy appointment. Loved my physical therapist. We hit it off right away. She mentioned to me that she was getting married in three weeks. I offered my congratulations and then she started my intake. She asked what happened…

I began to explain that in Novemember I was on a cruise with my family to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary and renew our vows, and I fell… She was very surprised that I had been married that long. I guess without giving it much thought, she said, “to the same guy!?!” I said, “Yep! Love him more today than ever!”

She told me that she was so glad that I shared that with her. Typically all she ever hears is, “oh how sweet, you’re still in the good newlywed phase when you still like each other…” She said she hoped it wasn’t really like that and that she could still be madly in love after 25 years.

A good, happy, healthy marriage takes a lot of work. It’s just like physical therapy. We need to keep the muscles strong. We need to work on it every day. It’s ok to seek outside support if you’re struggling. There will be good days and rough days… You have to push through the rough ones to get to the great ones!

For those in the “newlywed phase”, enjoy! But know that what you’re feeling now doesn’t have to end. If you make your marriage a priority and choose to love every day , then every phase of your marriage can be like newlywed love!

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Hebrews 12:11-13

 

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Filed Under: Better Than Newlyweds Tagged With: Choose to Love, Dani Scherer, family, John Scherer, love, marriage, Physical Therapy

Love Their Mother | Mrs. Scherer

June 16, 2013 by Mrs.Scherer

This weekend our two boys went down to Tijuana with our church group to help build a home. This left John and I home alone. It was only one night, but we got to experience what it will be like when it’s just the two of us. We both agreed it was way too quiet. We love having a busy home filled with family and friends! With that being said, we did take advantage of the opportunity and just enjoyed spending time with each other :).

As we experienced this glimpse into what our near future might look like, I thought about how families where structured during biblical times… The family unit remained very close often staying in the same physical household. Even today other cultures continue this family structure, but for many of us in the US it’s a new phase of this journey we call life. I’m not sure that I’m really ready for it to be perfectly honest. John and I both highly value family and always pictured a huge, close knit family unit. As the kids get older and become more independent, we are starting to see how each of them wants and needs to venture out and make a way for themselves and someday, for their own families.

My prayer is that we’ve sown the seeds and they’ll never be far – physically or from our hearts… Proverbs 22:6 – Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. (NIV)

No matter what phase of life you are going through, we are all growing. Take time to make your marriage a priority during every phase. Even, well actually especially, when you have children and they eem to consume all your time and energy. I read a quote/saying that I just love:

“The most important thing that a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” Theodore M. Hesburgh

 

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Filed Under: Better Than Newlyweds Tagged With: Choose to Love, Dani Scherer, family, John Scherer, kids, life, love

Love Unconditionally | Mrs. Scherer

June 4, 2013 by Mrs.Scherer

We have a German short-haired pointer / dobbie mix, Zoe, and a shitzu, Simon. They love our family unconditionally. As I watch them, I’m reminded that we should love our spouses the same way.

    1. Greet your spouse when they come home with excitement. Show them how much you’ve missed them and that they’re the center of your universe
    2. Cuddle time. Seek out your spouse for physical love and attention. We all need to touch and to be touched.
    3. Forgive quickly. Don’t hold a grudge. Actually, I don’t think our dogs ever hold on to hurt… wouldn’t that be nice if we could say we do the same with our spouses?
    4. Make time for play. Go for walks together, visit the park, and go for a car rides. Do the things you enjoy doing together.
    5. Whatever your spouse is doing, take a genuine interest.
    6. Welcome your spouse’s friends and encourage your spouse to spend a healthy amount of time hanging with friends.
    7. Sense when your spouse is stressed or upset and be there to provide comfort and support.
    8. Be loyal and stick by your spouse no matter what. Our dogs never cheat on us or leave us. They are committed to us for a lifetime.
    9. Be the the real deal and appreciate your spouse for who they are and don’t try to change them. Dogs don’t care how much you make, what you do for a living, or what you look like.
    10. Protect your spouse. I don’t just mean from physical dangers, but protect their hearts. Guard what you say about them. Build them up, don’t tear them done. Encourage them. Of course when you’re able, also protect them from harm.

In all seriousness, choose to love your spouse unconditionally. It will make all the difference in your marriage!

1 Corinthians 13:4-7(NIV)
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Filed Under: Better Than Newlyweds Tagged With: Dani Scherer, family, John Scherer, love

Pray for Each Other | Mrs. Scherer |Better Than Newlyweds

May 17, 2013 by Mrs.Scherer

Pray for each other every day and pray with each other.

Prayer is very powerful. It is our lifeline to God.

I’ve been super busy with work for the last couple of months, which left me run down and stressed out. As I look back over these months, I can’t imagine how I would have survived with out my spouse by my side. We pray for each other and it changes things. One of the sweetest things that John does for me that really keeps me grounded is that he reminds me daily to trust God. To stop worrying about everything and just trust that He loves me and that He’s got my back. Well, God’s not the only one that has my back. John does too.

The next time you’re really stressing about something and just don’t know what you’re going to do, try this. Walk up to your spouse (probably best to pick a quiet time and not just before his favorite team is going to score a point) and ask him if he’ll pray with you. It’s ok if he’s not comfortable leading the prayer, just having his hand in yours and taking some quiet time to talk to God together is an amazing thing. Don’t be surprised if all the fears, pains, and stresses of the world just melt away! Even if it’s only for a short while…

I also recommend that you pray for each other daily.

For so many wives, the first thing we want to do with our spouses is to change them. It’s not our job! If there are areas that you struggle with, lift it to God in prayer. If it’s an area that God feels needs to be changed, He’ll work on that in His timing. If it’s not, ask God to give you peace to accept your spouse as God has created him. Prayer can also open the doors to unimaginable blessings. Pray for blessings and favor for your spouse every day. For a great resource on praying for your spouse, I highly recommend Stormie Omartian’s books. I have them by my bedside and use them to help guide my prayers for my spouse, my marriage, and for my children.

957496DA: The Power of a Praying Wife The Power of a Praying Wife
By Stormie Omartian
957656DA: The Power of a Praying Husband, Deluxe Edition - Slightly Imperfect The Power of a Praying Husband, Deluxe Edition

Filed Under: Better Husband, Better Than Newlyweds, Better Wife, Marriage Monday Tagged With: Dani Scherer, John Scherer, marriage, Prayer, Stormie Omartian

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Hi, I’m Stacy!

I am married to the Love of my life... my Prince. We strive daily to have a marriage better than newlyweds. We want to know each other better than when we were first wed. We want to please God by serving each other. Marriage is so important as it represents the relationship between God and His church... we must protect it and fight for ours. Read More…

Good Reads for Your Marriage:

679599: The Love Dare The Love Dare
By Stephen Kendrick & Alex Kendrick
{These are affiliate links but I truly believe these books would add value to your marriage.}

Recent Posts

  • 5 BIBLE VERSES FOR TROUBLED MARRIAGES | Stacy Hudson
  • More than a baby was delivered when I gave birth | Stacy Hudson
  • What I’ve learned Being Married to an Agnostic | Guest Blogger: Ailie Baumann
  • How to Improve Communication in Your Marriage | Stacy Hudson
  • How to Put the Spark Back in Your Marriage | Stacy Hudson

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