30 posts in 30 days Archives - Page 3 of 6

7 Thoughts that Will Change Your Marriage #2

May 19, 2013 by Mrs. Hudson

I am sharing with you 7 things that I read. This is one of 7 posts so be sure check out the rest. Take a minute and read what I read about 7 thoughts that…if you really stop and think about them… could change your marriage. Change it for the better. It is important to keep growing in our marriages. We are constantly changing… and so is our spouse. It is important to think about things in a new light every now and then and make sure we are doing our best to serve, Love, and understand our spouse.

2. I Can’t Change Him; I Can Only Change Me.

Has this thought ever entered your head: “I’d be happy if only he’d…” or “I’ll be happy as soon as he….” If you can fill in the blank, you may have a problem.

What you’re really saying is, “I won’t be happy until he….” You’re making a decision to place your happiness and your sense of peace outside of yourself and into someone else’s hands. You’re waiting for him to change.

The problem with that is that you can’t make anybody else change. Magazine covers don’t believe this; they’re filled with articles like, “7 Ways to Make Your Man More Romantic” or “How To Get Him to Help Around the House” or whatever else it may be. They’re focusing on you making him into the kind of person you want to be.

But that attitude is poison for a marriage. When you give your husband the idea: ” you are making me unsatisfied. You are failing me,” he will tend to retreat. He’d rather do things in his area of competence.

What if you’re really unhappy with the way things are? I understand. But nagging and withholding affection and becoming bitter cannot bring about positive change in a marriage. Here’s what can: changing yourself. You can change how you choose to react to him. You can change how you organize the house if you feel that too much is being asked of you. You can get more hobbies if you find yourself relying too much on your husband for adult conversation. (I cover all of this, and more, in my book To Love, Honor and Vacuum).

When you change, you also change the dynamic in the marriage, and that, in and of itself, may bring change in how he reacts to you, too. But insisting that he become someone else will only make you miserable.

via 7 Thoughts that Will Change Your Marriage, Christian Engagement, Newlywed Couples.

7 Thoughts that Will Change Your Marriage #1

May 19, 2013 by Mrs. Hudson

I am sharing with you 7 things that I read. This is one of 7 posts so be sure check out the rest. Take a minute and read what I read about 7 thoughts that…if you really stop and think about them… could change your marriage. Change it for the better. It is important to keep growing in our marriages. We are constantly changing… and so is our spouse. It is important to think about things in a new light every now and then and make sure we are doing our best to serve, Love, and understand our spouse.

1. God is your Father-in-Law

We like to think of God as our Father, our Daddy, our Abba. That’s all very true. God is our Father, and He does love us, and care for us, and listen to our prayers, and want the best for us. He is going to bat for us.

But do you realize that God is also our Father-in-law?

He’s also your husband’s Father. And that means that He really cares about your husband, and He really loves your husband, and He listens to your husband’s heart cry as well. I imagine that one day, I’m going to stand before God, and He’s going to gently talk to me about Keith. He’ll say, “what did you do to care for my son? How did you love my son?”

I so desperately hope that God will be pleased with the way I treated His son.

I once read a quote from author Sally Clarkson, who asked, “what if the greatest act of worship you could do today is to love your husband?” And it very well could be. God loves your husband, and He planned for your husband to have someone to help him, to encourage him, to inspire him, to love him. God wants someone to appreciate your husband, and to urge him on in faith and in love. And that someone, that He has especially prepared for the task, is you.

via 7 Thoughts that Will Change Your Marriage, Christian Engagement, Newlywed Couples.

The Honeymoon Never Ends

May 11, 2013 by Mrs. Hudson

Did your honeymoon end the day you got home from it? I imagine that is the case for most because the divorce rate is so high. What do you think would happen to your marriage if one night you tried to recreate an evening or a certain part of your honeymoon as a surprise for your spouse? I bet they would be amazed and very touched! I know that real life takes over after the honeymoon and it is hard to find the time to have these “honeymoon moments” but I think it is important to revive the romance every month! A date night of just the 2 of you snuggled on the couch watching a netflix movie can revive the romance just as well. I think half of what makes something romantic is the time involved. It lets the other person know they were thought about and makes them feel special. Below is a snippet from a story…I suggest you click the link and read the whole story!

What part of your honeymoon would you recreate if you could?

I was torn about not doing a honeymoon the way people expected us to (“You’re going to serve refugees for a honeymoon?”) and still wondering if we were actually better off married to live out what Jesus taught.

Partly to assuage my guilt for not jetting off to Cabo for a typical honeymoon, partly to keep some honest joy and celebration as we went about serving, and partly just to push the future and the magnitude of our commitment out of my mind, I started saying, “The honeymoon never ends!” I made up my mind that we were going to make sure we kept having a great time, finding romantic moments and places, exploring this great big fun world together. At a minimum, it meant putting a romantic spin on Amazing Days. And maybe it would even move us to live out more Amazing Days, to exercise more faith and to have a marriage that mattered.

Initially, this shift into “married mode” was hard and didn’t seem like it was giving us more Amazing Days. But “the honeymoon never ends” was a step for us toward more Amazing Days and more adventurous and better living. It was a proclamation of joyous hope that our being married would make us more capable and effective than we were while single. I doubted it sometimes, but this silly phrase gave me a scimitar to slash at the doubts.

via The Honeymoon Never Ends, Christian Engagement, Newlywed Couples.

Preserve Your Marriage by Making 5 Smart Money Decisions #5

May 11, 2013 by Mrs. Hudson

Making smart money decisions will change your life. Knowing you have a credit card bill to pay is a weight you carry around in your head. Or knowing that you owe someone money strains that relationship. The Bible is very clear that the “borrower is slave to the lender”. For that reason alone we should strive to live debt free lives and make smart money decisions. I know it sounds impossible but it is possible.

When my husband and I got married I (we now) had credit card debt from college. We also both had student loans. Both of our vehicles are paid off now (mine I paid off while still single but I’m gonna drive it til I just can’t anymore!) and my husbands car was bought without financing and the car guy was shocked that someone would do that and tried to talk him into financing and getting a “better” car. We now (after 2 years of marriage) have paid off all credit card debt and are now working on our student loans! God is honoring our obedience and blessing both of our businesses. Take a step of faith and trust God to provide. Also, make it a priority to tithe. That is one of the smart money decisions that will not only affect your life now but for eternity and generations to come. The tithe is the FIRST %10 of your increase. God gave His best for you…I think that is a small token in return. Especially when it is His to begin with AND He turns around and blesses us more for being obedient! God is good.

5. Break the Yoke of Debt – Start Saving

If you are in debt, the one sure way to break that cycle is to start saving. Too many couples use their debt as an excuse not to save. Make a list of small, doable goals. Start with saving $1000 as an emergency fund and then keep going. Your goals should include having 3-6 months of living expenses set aside. If you have a hard time leaving that saved money alone, talk to your bank about putting restrictions on your savings account not to allow withdrawals. According to the FPA poll, only one in five couples make investment decisions together. Work hard on breaking that trend. Plan together, set goals together and celebrate every accomplished milestone together.

Money does not have to be the cause of relational breakdowns. You may have heard this saying before: Money is a great servant but a bad master. Learning how to master your money will eliminate relational stress. It will create financial breathing room and a solid foundation for your family’s future. So take it one step at a time. Fight for your marriage by making daily smart money decisions.

via Preserve Your Marriage by Making 5 Smart Money Decisions – Christian Relationships, Marriage, Husband & Wife (Page 2).

Preserve Your Marriage by Making 5 Smart Money Decisions #4

May 11, 2013 by Mrs. Hudson

Saving money and living on a budget does not sound very exciting to most people. But if you understand that changing how you live now will affect how you live later… the big picture starts to sink in! If you don’t spend that $500 on a new wardrobe now…and invest it…. after some time you will be able to buy more clothes than you have closet space with the money you earned off that money! OR if you stop using credit cards and pay them off you won’t be wasting money on interest EVERY month and will have just created more $ to be used in the budget! Check our Dave Ramsey for some excellent tips and ways to make it fun. Technology and apps are a big help these days. Ask your bank if they have any!

4. Make Budgeting Fun with Technology!

Budget does not have to mean boring and complicated excel spreadsheets. Today, technology offers many great budgeting solutions to help you and your spouse not only track every single penny but also plan on how you will spend it. Once you find a solution that fits your needs, both you and your spouse will be able to have much more fun in the process.

via Preserve Your Marriage by Making 5 Smart Money Decisions – Christian Relationships, Marriage, Husband & Wife (Page 2).

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