Better Than Newlyweds

Where the Honeymoon never ends!

The Power of Encouraging Your Spouse

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Your words can either build up your spouse or tear them down. If we would all remember that once we are married…we become one with our spouses. Therefore, if we tear them down with our words…we really hurt ourselves too! The same goes for building them up…it can only mean good for you and your marriage!  The Bible has plenty to say about encouragement… here are a few verses.

Ephesians 4:29 
Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear. 

Hebrews 10:24 
and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, 

Hebrews 3:13 
But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called “Today,” lest any one of you be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. 

 

I hope you also enjoy these words from another marriage blog:

“Husbands, encourage your wives

Get a game plan together – and execute! Take 10 minutes out of your day and ask yourself how you can encourage her. Each day it will be something unique. Maybe it’s a simple text message, or flowers, or a surprise date. Maybe she just needs you to call her out of the blue and express a few reasons why you love her and believe in her.

The point is that you can do it as long as you make it a priority. So set a daily reminder for “encouraging my wife brainstorming” time, and make it happen!

One thing I’ve found that encourages Selena is to call her and just remind her how proud I am to be her husband. Bonus: this exercise actually has a reciprocating effect: I end up reminding myself how awesome she is and I feel great!

Wives, encourage your husbands

Ladies, you have more power than you know. I like to call it the “knight and maiden” effect. As knights, we men love to go into battle and strike down dragons. The only thing better than dragon slaying is coming home to our maidens, taking a chivalrous bow, and hearing her affectionate words of adoration. I’ve often told Selena that no matter how tough I feel or how many things I conquer, she can always bring me to my knees – I’d do anything for her. (Think Braveheart…)

As wives you can encourage or discourage with words and tones like no other person in your husband’s life. A purposeful, well placed line of encouragement can soften your husband’s heart and ease his pain. You can fill him with strength and energy, so long as you yield your power lovingly!”

via The Power of Encouraging Your Spouse | Fierce Marriage.

Does Your Spouse See Jesus in You?

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Before we got married we were blessed to take a class offered thru our church called “Life for Marriage”.  It taught just what the name says. How to give life to your marriage. One of the main points was to treat your spouse like you would treat Jesus.  On the same token being like Jesus to your spouse was equally important. These have been important lessons that we try to implement in our marriage. But everyone needs a reminder every now and then… 

“Jesus has set an example for us to follow. And, the first place he wants us to put this into place is in our marriage. The Bible very specifically compares Christ’s relationship with the church directly to the relationship between husband and wife. And as we examine the characteristics of Jesus, we discover exactly what we must do so our spouse will see Christ in us.

It’s not just about being unselfish. If you really want your spouse to see Jesus in you, you have to genuinely put into practice an attitude of becoming more like Christ in everything you do. This is not a simple, one-time event; it is an everyday struggle. It’s not easy to act like Jesus in every situation. In fact, it’s notably difficult. We live in a world where it’s much easier to do what feels good or take the easy way out. But, becoming more like Jesus involves sacrificial love; it takes a servant’s heart; it means forgiving when it’s not easy to forgive; and it takes a concerted effort toward humility and self-forgetfulness!”

Check out the full article via Does Your Spouse See Jesus in You? – Focus on the Family.

5 Steps to Building Your Christian Marriage

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Having a strong marriage takes work and effort. It doesn’t happen just because you say “I DO”… it happens because you DO. You have to DO things to make your marriage strong and to keep it that way!  Below are 5 steps to take to make your marriage stronger.  Make them habits.

Step 1 is pray together. My husband and I decided this year to pray together daily. It has been a humbling part of our day. It helps us put things in perspective and to also know what is on each others heart. It happens at the end of the day for us so….if we have had an issue or argument during the day it forces us to resolve things in order to pray together.

Step 1 – Pray Together:

Set aside time each day to pray with your spouse.

Step 2 – Read Together:

Set aside time each day, or at least once a week, to read the Bible together.

Step 3 – Make Decisions Together:

Commit to making important decision together.

Step 4 – Attend Church Together:

Get involved in a church together.

Step 5 – Continue Dating:

Set aside special, regular times to continue developing your romance.

via Christian Marriage – 5 Steps to Building Your Christian Marriage.

Grow Deeper Together | Better Than Newlyweds | Guest Blogger

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I want to encourage you today to Fight for your Marriage. Stay in. Don’t jump ship. Every marriage relationship will have mountains and valleys.

Every spouse is going to deserve banishment at some point, but if you tough it out together, God will do amazing and remarkable things in your heart and in the heart of your spouse. He will develop such deep roots in your oneness that you won’t see yourself as two individuals anymore.

I sit here with tears in my eyes as I read about the break up of yet another Christian couple. Most people will say, “I’m so glad you’re happy. I’m so glad you’ve found someone who makes you happy.” I cannot. Divorce is the wrong choice. “Moving on” is not the answer. “Feeling happy” is not enough. A family ripped apart permanently causes deep and painful ripples into the future. Followers of Christ, it should not be so among you.

Don’t think I’m piling on. If you are the victim of a spouse who left, I am not judging you. Allow God to heal your heart. It will take time and love and patience. If you are the one who left, there’s still time to repent and rebuild. It’s never too late.

If you are single, or are facing challenges in your marriage, let me encourage you. Never assume a “strong” marriage is perfect, or that those who have one “have never gone through what you have.” I guarantee you that their marriage is strong because they have had to develop strong roots. Roots take pain and labor.

A great, life long marriage is not built on fleeting beauty, short-term feelings or personal achievement. It is built on self-sacrifice, struggles, determination and sweat. An oak tree doesn’t grow from an acorn to a majestic beauty without these qualities. It is a mystery, but God uses pain to make us stronger.

Don’t give up. Don’t give in. Share your pain with your spouse and grow deeper together. You’ll either grow deeper together or you’ll grow apart. Determine, as far as it concerns you, to be there no matter what storms may come.

Being romantic doesn’t have to be a HUGE gesture

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i-love-you-in-lipstickBeing romantic is really about taking the time to make someone else feel special. Leave your spouse a hidden note in a spot they will eventually find it… or tape it the bathroom mirror for them to see in the morning! If you need some help… just leave a quote that means something to you.

Here are some options: 

“So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day…” – Ryan Gosling, The Notebook

“My heart is, and always will be, yours.” – Sense and Sensibility

“It was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together… and I knew it.” – Tom Hanks, Sleepless In Seattle

Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. ~ Aristotle

Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable. ~ Bruce Lee

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. ~ Lao Tzu  

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul. ~ Judy Garland

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