Does marriage erase or put a block up so it is harder to see the things we loved about our spouses when we were dating?
Just something I was thinking about the other day when my husband and I were at Lowe’s getting some tile cut for the front step of our house.
We had measured them before we left and he wrote on the back of the tiles all the pieces we needed cut. I decided I’d make a note in my phone of the measurements just in case. So we get there and the guy is really helpful and Dwight explains to him what we need. The guy seemed to understand but I asked Dwight anyway just to make sure and he said yes. I walked around a little bit and came back and they had some cut and we realized that his “notes” on the back of the tiles are being cut up! So I sent him the note I had made on my phone and I asked him again if it was going ok and things were right and he assured me yes. It hit me then…I realized that he is a smart guy and could handle that situation. That was one of the things I Loved about him when we were dating…that he was (and still is!) smart. I also liked that he got things done! I am not sure why I was questioning it at Lowe’s…maybe because his projects are now our projects? One thing that hasn’t changed is that he is still a very smart and capable man.
I seem to forget that sometimes. Things may not get done how I would do them… or when I would do them… but that’s not really what matters. I do not always have to be in control. Like tonight for instance… he was putting away the toilet paper in the bathroom (glamorous I know!)… and I started to tell him how I would do it… but then stopped! And he was like… tell me… and I said no…haha. We went back and forth while he put the toilet paper away and I finally told him “I was going to tell you how I put the toilet paper away but realized it didn’t matter… that you were DOING it and I didn’t want to boss you around or correct you… I should be thankful you are doing it.” And he said “oh… well that’s nice.” 🙂 And it really DOESN’T matter if the toilet paper is standing up or on its side or just tossed in the cabinet (although this would be my last choice 😉 ) … It is just gonna get taken out in the next few weeks anyways!
What mattered is his heart to serve me (another thing I Loved when we were dating) by putting it away. I know it doesn’t sound like much but one thing I have realized in marriage…over our short 2 years… is that something people always say is true. It REALLY is the little things that matter. So the next time your spouse mentions something that bothers them… or something you could do for them that would make their day better… don’t think “I’ll pass on doing that because it will have little impact because it is a little thing”… think…. “Wow that little thing will make a BIG difference in my spouses day!”…and really… if you can make your spouse happy by doing a little thing… you kinda get off easy! 😉 Don’t stop at the little things… surprise them sometimes with the big things you know will make their week or even their year!
We should not be shy about treating our spouse as special… for that is what they are. My husband is a gift from God… and I do not say that lightly. He is so tailor made and perfect for me that I KNOW God gave him to me. I value him so much. What should we do with things we value? We should treat them well. I try to treat him well… and I often fall short… but he knows I try and to him that means a lot.
So treat you spouses well and see the difference it makes in your marriage. Do it expecting nothing in return. Love is not selfish…remember. 😉
