Have you ever wondered how to improve communication in your marriage? I know I have. Sometimes it just feels like we are speaking different languages or having two totally different conversations. There are a few simple things that we try to do to improve our communication.
How to Improve Communication in Your Marriage
Put your phone down and look them in the eye
I see it so often. Someone talking and the other person staring at their phone. This says a few things to the person talking. It tells them that whatever is on the phone screen is more important and more interesting than them. Is that how you want your husband to feel? I don’t think so. This is not how we should want anyone to feel. If you find you have a hard time doing this, start by leaving your phone in your purse in another room and purposefully go and have a conversation with your husband without it.
Don’t make it about you
When we are going through something difficult and are having a disagreement… it is easy to go on the defensive and make it about us. Often times, if we would just take the time to really listen we would realize that what our husbands are saying sheds light on deeper feelings they might have. If all we do is go on the defensive instead of soaking in what they are saying and genuinely evaluate our own hearts and motives… communication will always be an issue.
In a Christian marriage this should really be a given. You might be thinking “well, of course I am honest!” But has your husband ever asked you what was wrong and you replied “nothing.” Or maybe he asked if something was ok and you replied with “it’s fine.” As women we know that those words don’t mean what they should in those moments (most of the time). However, our husbands hear “nothing” and “it’s fine” and think there is nothing wrong and that it’s fine. And you know why they think that? Because it is what we told them! We can’t get mad at them for not understanding when we are the ones not being honest about our feelings.
The Bible has plenty of answers for the question “How to improve communication in your marriage?”
Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, Ephesians 4:15
But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God. James 1:19-20
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18
A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver. Like a gold ring or an ornament of gold is a wise reprover to a listening ear. Like the cold of snow in the time of harvest is a faithful messenger to those who send him; he refreshes the soul of his masters. Like clouds and wind without rain is a man who boasts of a gift he does not give. With patience a ruler may be persuaded, and a soft tongue will break a bone. Proverbs 25:11-15
The next time you are wondering how to improve communication in your marriage, improve your communication with God and the rest will follow.
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matt. 6:33
Thank you for these simple steps. I agree with you that we should put our phones aside and actually have face to face time.