• Home
  • About
  • Shop
  • Start Blogging
  • Blogging Resources

Better Than Newlyweds

Where the Honeymoon never ends!

LOVE – Listen. Observe. Validate. Express. |Stacy Hudson |Better Than Newlyweds

LOVE – Listen. Observe. Validate. Express. |Stacy Hudson |Better Than Newlyweds

May 23, 2016 by Mrs. Hudson

I am determined to not be the couple married for 30 years that doesn’t talk anymore because it’s “easier” I want to be the couple who talks through hard things so that the next 30 years of being married is easy!  Sure, there will always be ups and downs and bumps in the road along the way. I want to make sure that they are just bumps and not road blocks in our marriage. 

In my own marriage I try very hard to be open with my husband and share with him if something is bothering me. We have both worked very hard over our short 5 years of marriage to become better listeners and to put each other first. It has not been easy but it is getting easier. Sometimes it feels like it might be too hard and that maybe just not talking about something we need to address would be easier. That is a lie from the pit of hell disguised as “keeping the peace”. 

I have learned that the only way my sweet husband can really know what is going on in my head or my heart is if I tell him. He is not a mind reader. Therefore, it is up to me to tell him if he has hurt my feelings or upset me in some way. And no… giving him the silent treatment or withholding sex are not biblical options. The way to deal with conflict as Christians is simple… but boy do we complicate it oh so much! 

15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.”  Matthew 18:15

So, what the Bible is saying is that when my husband upsets me I should go and talk it over with a girlfriend and figure out what to do? …No. I should go first to my husband and we should talk and figure out what to do. {Sidenote: This also means that if I am the girlfriend someone comes to talk to about their husband I should send her home to talk to her husband.} The last part of that verse says “if he listens”… I think listening is the beginning of Love.

I always find acronyms helpful. So, here we go.

LOVE

L – Listen

O – Observe

V – Validate

E – Express

Listening is the beginning of Love because it takes sacrifice and shows the other person you are willing to make the time investment in your relationship because they are worth it. It might require that you put down your cell phone, turn off the tv, or both, while you lock yourselves in a room to talk and really listen and hear one another. 

“If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.” Proverbs 18:13

“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;” James 1:19 

Observation should take place while we are being “quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger”. While you are listening you should also be looking. Look for signs your spouse may not be sharing all they need to share. Or maybe it is obvious that something is bothering them… if so then ask them! A lot is said with facial expressions and body language. 

Validation should come after you have listened and observed. Let them know that you heard them and that their feelings are valid. This can be hard because how they feel may not have been your intention or even fully your fault but their feelings are still valid either way. If I have hurt my husband, even if on accident, his hurt feelings are still valid. 

Expressing Love and concern should come naturally at the close of an intense conversation about hurt feelings or misunderstandings. But what might not come natural is expressing your desire to help them if you can. Let them know that you are willing to not only Love them with your words but also with your deeds. 

“let us love not in word or speech but in deed and truth.” 1 John 3:18

The most important thing we can express is forgiveness. Jesus expressed His Love for us on the cross and made forgiveness available to us all. Let us not hold grudges or unforgiveness in our hearts but instead forgive like the Lord. 

“Bearing with one another, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” Colossians 3:13

The most important thing we can express is forgiveness. Jesus made forgiveness available to us all.
Powered By the Tweet This Plugin
Tweet This

 

 

 

 

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Print
  • Email
  • More
  • Share on Tumblr
  • Reddit

Filed Under: Better Husband, Better Than Newlyweds, Better Wife Tagged With: Expressing Love, heart, His Love, marriage

Comments

  1. Candice Hohenwald says

    May 26, 2016 at 4:44 pm

    I absolutely love this and will be saving it!

    • Mrs. Hudson says

      June 2, 2016 at 2:22 pm

      Thank you so much! God gave me this post after fight with my hubby. The devil tries his best to divide us and to keep me from writing BUT GOD already has the victory and works all things out for my good. He will do the same for you! God bless!

Hi, I’m Stacy!

I am married to the Love of my life... my Prince. We strive daily to have a marriage better than newlyweds. We want to know each other better than when we were first wed. We want to please God by serving each other. Marriage is so important as it represents the relationship between God and His church... we must protect it and fight for ours. Read More…

Good Reads for Your Marriage:

679599: The Love Dare The Love Dare
By Stephen Kendrick & Alex Kendrick
{These are affiliate links but I truly believe these books would add value to your marriage.}

Recent Posts

  • 5 BIBLE VERSES FOR TROUBLED MARRIAGES | Stacy Hudson
  • More than a baby was delivered when I gave birth | Stacy Hudson
  • What I’ve learned Being Married to an Agnostic | Guest Blogger: Ailie Baumann
  • How to Improve Communication in Your Marriage | Stacy Hudson
  • How to Put the Spark Back in Your Marriage | Stacy Hudson

AFFILIATE DISCLOSURE

BetterThanNewlyweds.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. All opinions expressed in these reviews are our own. We only bring you the products.
*Disclosure: On occasion, “affiliate links” may appear on this website. This means that when clicked and the item is purchased, the seller sends me an affiliate commission. This helps me keep this blog up and running. The item’s price is not affected in any way. Only items I believe my readers will enjoy are linked in this way.
  • Home
  • About
  • Shop
  • Start Blogging
  • Blogging Resources
Information is shared for educational purposes. Ownership of content remains with it's original publisher. If you feel we have made an error please contact us know so we can remedy the situation.

Copyright © 2023 · Lifestyle Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in