This past weekend my husband and I celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary. An anniversary we both did not think was going to happen. A death with no sign of resurrection. 13 years of doing life together gone forever…
Separated and headed onto the hard road to divorce I hit my ground zero. My life shattered into pieces. A pain I had never felt before. A pain I know my husband had never felt before. But there was no turning back. We hurt each other too bad to fix it. There had to be “greener grass” elsewhere. We made a mistake marrying each other in the first place… All of the thoughts you thought you’d never have on the day you say “I do” with great anticipation of living “happily ever after.”
I was not feeling the love anymore. He was not feeling the love anymore. A sure sign that it was time we both move on.
Or was it?
When you hit rock bottom you realize there is no place to go, but up. My up was learning that love IS a choice. My up was letting go of control—surrendering all that I thought once was and allowing Christ to rebuild my life piece by piece. Did that include my marriage? I did not know, but from that day forward I knew I was being called to stand for it. I was called to lead my heart back to my husband. My marriage was worth fighting for.
It certainly could not be done by my own strength. I was weak and inadequate. I knew I would not be the one to change my husband’s heart. It would be beyond anything I could ever do. And so the journey began. The narrow path of leading one’s heart. A road I never imagined myself walking. Choosing brokenness in order to shatter any self-will. Humility and obedience at a new level. Walking by faith not by sight.
Days went by. Months went by. My heart changing in ways I never thought possible. Miracles unfolding before my very eyes. The biggest miracle of all right around the bend. Not only was my heart changing, but unbeknownst to me my husband’s was too.
After nearly two years of turmoil and heartache and a year of physical separation—restoration came. What once we thought impossible flourished into possible. A beauty only He could paint out of ashes.
Rebuilding trust. Healing hurt. A renewed marriage. All well worth the road less traveled.
A road we still walk day by day. We don’t ever want to quit progressing. It is what leads to stagnant. Stagnant leads to a discontentment, which opens the door to allow big problems to walk through.
Reconciling is by no means easy. It is a lot of really hard work. Marriage is hard work. It is a fight. A fight worth fighting every minute of every day. Falling in love with the same person over and over. A choice worth making.
Only Christ can turn our messes into messages, tests into testimony, and trials into triumph!
If you are at a crossroads this very moment—embrace the journey He has called you to. Allow Him to work His unconditional love into your heart and spouse’s. No matter how far gone you think your marriage may be – He can restore it. He breathes LIFE into death.
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