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Choosing to Love First | Better Than Newlyweds | Guest Blogger Jacinta Huang

January 2, 2017 by Mrs. Hudson

Psalm 32:8

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;

I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.”

Dear Wives,

How has your day been? Did you have a good conversation with your husband? Have you managed to enjoy some downtime together after work?

This message has been weighing heavily on my heart these past few weeks. The message on choosing to love first. I pray for God to speak to you through these words as I type, knowing that only the Holy Spirit can convict and move our hearts.

He came home happily from work. There was dinner on the table, and he was about to change out from his work clothes so he could play with our baby daughter, Ellie. It was one of those typical days. Nothing very special about it. I cannot remember what happened after that, but there was a miscommunication of sorts, and I just snapped.

Yes, I was tired out from taking care of Ellie and yes, he may have been in the wrong.

But in that moment, I was annoyed and frustrated, very desperate for a bath, and so I snapped.

I was wrong too.

He was upset with me.

I was upset with myself too.

I berated myself with thoughts like, “Why can’t I just get this wife thing right? Why do I always feel like a lousy wife? Couldn’t I be more patient?”

But other thoughts would come up to counter these guilty feelings. “Why can’t he just learn to communicate better? Haven’t we read enough books or learned enough over the years? Why must I be the one to apologize first?”

Wives, can you relate?

When we are married to another imperfect person, why do we become surprised when their imperfections show? After all, we are full of sin and weaknesses too.

It is a choice that I’ve learned to constantly make. It does not matter who was right – that discussion can be done at a later time. But in every heated moment, there comes a choice that we must make – are you going to love first?

Choosing to Love First

When you love first, love becomes the priority, not whether he knows you were right all along.

When you love first, you give him the space to be an imperfect person. He does not feel the pressure to change, and he knows he is loved unconditionally by you.

When you make that powerful decision to love first, you are training your heart to be more like Christ. After all, Christ demonstrated such unmatchable love for us – by choosing to sacrifice and love us first.

The next time that you get into a tense moment with your husband, take a quiet moment with the Lord and pray for strength to love first. Reach out to touch his hand, look into his eyes and before you speak, remember the man you fell in love with. Believe that he is giving his best too, just like you. Take that step towards his heart, and know that God will instruct you in what to say for reconciliation to take place. 🙂

Smile, and reconnect.

Extend grace.

Endure the uncomfortable feelings knowing that there is a greater reward on the other side.

Don’t miss the great wisdom that God wants you to witness through your obedience to love first.

Rest in the peace of knowing that you are exactly where you should be – in the loving arms of God, loving the one you have vowed to be there for, in good times and in bad.

Will you choose to fight for your marriage and love first today? I’m right there with you sister, and I am rooting for you.

Waiting on God is hard | Stacy Hudson | Better Than Newlyweds

November 14, 2016 by Mrs. Hudson

Waiting on God is hard. Waiting on God patiently is unnatural. Patience to wait on God is spiritual. After all, God is Love and “Love is patient”.

“4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 [b]bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails;” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Tonight I was able to cross something off my bucket list. I have always wanted to get a picture of the moon. I wanted a picture where you can see the dips and surface changes. I knew it could be done but I had never been able to do it. I knew it was the super moon and so I thought it was worth a shot. I had to try out several settings and be patient with myself. I had to wait each time to see the picture load and if it had worked. When it worked I laughed with excitement! It was amazing to see the details of the moon. It was a special moment… a moment of worship really… and I thanked God for it. It was a moment to be still and in awe.

I write a lot about being still. I think that is because I have a hard time with it and God knows that. I want to be able to do something. I want to be able to fix it myself. I have always been independent. Just ask my mom.

The thing about a relationship with Jesus is we have to be still. When we are waiting on God to move we must be still. When we know we have done all we have been asked of God we must trust Him to do the rest. And in the waiting…we must rest.

My friend, Ailie from Pen Paper Paint recently wrote:

“Fixating on a situation that is not coming right or a prayer that is not being answered will merely result in disappointment and further dismay. Focusing on how the situation isn’t turning around isn’t going to make it improve. On the contrary, we need to lift our eyes off our frustrating circumstances and onto God. We need to ask God to open our eyes to see what he is doing in our lives, what breakthroughs we are experiencing no matter their size.”

“Love rejoices with the truth” 1 Corinthians 13:6

The truth is that God has good plans for us. He is worthy of our trust. When I try to fix things on my own it is because I am not trusting God and His timing. I am putting my faith in the wrong person or the wrong thing. No amount of my planning or doing can bring about the results of God’s blessings. They will fall short every time. But if I trust God and wait on His will the blessings will come. The time we spend waiting on God is the time God uses to teach us.

“Real life, though an adventure, is far from a day at an amusement park. Too often, we want a FastPass straight through God’s pauses to move directly to His plan. But God seldom hands out passes so we can avoid the wait and skip to the front of the line.
And that’s not necessarily a bad thing, as painful as it feels at the time.
A rush through the wait has the potential to stunt our spiritual growth and dull our senses to what God wants us to learn. As the apostle James tells us in today’s key verse, God wants us to “Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:4).
James advises those who follow Jesus not to take the FastPass through tests and challenges. He says that a pause will actually work in our favor. Our faith will mature, and we will become well-developed women of God, ready for all the good works He has prepared for us. God is the Creator of time. We can trust His pauses to be purposeful and perfectly arranged. God will make the most of our pause, and we should too.
– See more at: http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/fast-pass-please/#sthash.fNMaN0Ut.dpuf”

What are you waiting on God for?

What are you waiting on for your marriage? Is it for your husband to come to Christ? Is it for you husband to come home? Is it for you to be able to trust or be trusted again? Whatever it is…God can do it. Just wait.

I can Rely On Christ Knowing HE is my ROCK! | Stacy Hudson | Better Than Newlyweds

October 24, 2016 by Mrs. Hudson

“Rely on Christ.” We hear that phrase often but what does it really mean to rely on Christ? In my life, when I think of someone I can rely on it means I can count on them day or night. It means that they would sit with me, fight for me, or hold me up. They would do all three if needed. I find in life that it is usually easier to rely on another person than Jesus because they are physically there in person. However, I have also learned that they will let you down. It might be harder to rely on and trust Jesus but it will bring more peace than you ever imagined. We must rely on Christ knowing that He has good plans for us and that He is our ROCK.

‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’” Jeremiah 29:11

My husband and I both want to leave a good legacy for future generations. That is why we fight so hard (sometimes with each other) and want to do so well in life. I’ve been thinking though that maybe God is supposed to be the one fighting and doing, not us?

The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14

I say He is my ROCK. You have probably said it a time or two also. In the story of David and Goliath one of the key players is the rock he used. David gets the credit for killing the giant but it was really the rock. If he had used sand it would have been blown away. If he had used water it would have fallen to the sun scorched ground. David knew what (and who) he could rely on to take down his giant. Once he did his part he just needed to be still and watch the rock fight for him.

My friend Ailie (who blogs at www.p3alive.com) puts the situation a lot of us face into words:

I guess with marriage we are supposed to do and fight. I just don’t know how to get the balance between doing that and trusting God to also fight for our marriage. I think we so often feel we are alone that we forget God is way more passionate about our family and marriage success than we could ever imagine.

We can rely on Christ knowing that He cares about our husbands and our marriages more than we do.

We can rely on Christ knowing that He will never leave us or forsake us.

I can rely on Christ knowing that He will sit with me, fight for me, and hold me up. Or all of them combined if needed.

Below are the awesome answers I was given when I asked some fellow Christian bloggers to finish this phrase:

“I can rely on Christ knowing….”

that His redemption is greater than my works.” Lillian Stevens from http://embracingthelovely.com/

that He is bigger than I could ever imagine, wiser than I could ever comprehend, and stronger than I could ever realize.” Becky Lehman from www.SoVeryBlessed.com

I can rely on Christ knowing the end of my story, chapter of my life and the full picture. This steadies my heart. I can trust Jesus to see me through the tough times. He strengthens my heart to endure. He calls me to see from a higher perspective. He encourages me to greater faith and deeper intimacy in my walk with Him. He becomes my anchor in life’s storms. As my ROCK I have a hope that never fails.” Ailie Baumann from www.p3alive.com

He is my Savior, redeemer, and friend.” Rachel Russell from www.soulsparkpublication.com

He will never leave me.” Alysa Friesen from Www.alysalovely.com

I can rely on Christ knowing the peace He and He alone can offer.” Mandi Pimental Http://noshandnurture.com

How my story will end.” Kimberly N’Patrick Dewberry

That I don’t have to know.” Missy Hutchinson Millspaugh

I can rely on Christ knowing that I am His. Looking forward to reading your post.” Lynn Bradley from https://everydaywiththeking.com/

My answer was:

I can rely on Christ knowing that no matter how loud or crazy life gets I just need to be still in His presence and trust Him as my rock to be my defender and firm foundation. “