Christian Engagement Archives - Better Than Newlyweds

Touch Your Spouse’s Heart with the Power of a Note

May 19, 2013 by Mrs. Hudson

I am a words person. I Love the written word as well as the spoken. I listen carefully to the words people use as it says a lot about them. I really Love to leave notes for Dwight… I think partly because I hope he will write me back! Yes… it sounds a little like middle school BUT the childlike aspect of it all is fun and keeps our Love growing.

The impact our notes can have on our spouses is amazing… we are their partner… so when they have a bad day it is probably going to end up impacting us as well! So be supportive…and encouraging. Leave your spouse a note today… a sweet note… short and simple. Let us know how your spouse reacts! 😀 – Stacy

“We all have days that make us want to blow (women probably more than men, I would say!). Stifled anger, stored-up insults, tensions and pressures, hormones and sugar lows. And it’s natural to just blow and get it all out. But that often occurs at the expense of those whom we love the most.

What if, during those difficult days, you could remember something at the core of your being? You are loved. Not just by your spouse, but by the Author of Love, the One who gave Himself for you so that you might live eternally with Him. The God who would rather die than live without you found a way to make you His own.

What if – on those days that your wife is really having a hard time – you found a way to remind her that she is loved? What if – during those times that your man is under extreme pressure and coming up with few words for you –you found some extra meaningful words for him? What if you both realized, in the fiery pit of everyday tensions, the power of a note?”

via Touch Your Spouse’s Heart with the Power of a Note , Christian Engagement, Newlywed Couples.

7 Thoughts that Will Change Your Marriage #6

May 19, 2013 by Mrs. Hudson

I am sharing with you 7 things that I read. This is one of 7 posts so be sure check out the rest. Take a minute and read what I read about 7 thoughts that…if you really stop and think about them… could change your marriage. Change it for the better. It is important to keep growing in our marriages. We are constantly changing… and so is our spouse. It is important to think about things in a new light every now and then and make sure we are doing our best to serve, Love, and understand our spouse. – Stacy

6. If You Win a Battle, You Often Lose the War.

Here’s one I still struggle with: I like to win fights. I think at heart it’s because I have rejection issues, and if Keith is upset at me, my goal is to prove to him why he’s completely and totally wrong. After all, if he sees that he has no reason to be upset, then why would he leave? (For the record, Keith would never leave, but I think this is what goes on in my subconscious).

I’m also a very good debater. I listen really well during fights–but I listen for loopholes so that I can blow his argument to shreds. It doesn’t matter if he’s just talking about how he feels; I can prove he’s wrong.

For the first few years I’m sure I won every fight. But it didn’t seem to be working. Keith was retreating inside himself, and I couldn’t hear his heart anymore. And over the years I’ve learned that you can win the battle but lose the war. When you keep winning, you sometimes drive someone away, because if one person wins and one person loses, you both lose. A relationship is about two people feeling loved, appreciated, and accepted. If you constantly push down someone’s feelings, you’re destroying that relationship–even if technically you are in the right.

So now I’ve learned sometimes just to listen and acknowledge his feelings, and then just shut up. I’ve learned that we need to find the win-win, not the win-lose.

via 7 Thoughts that Will Change Your Marriage, Christian Engagement, Newlywed Couples (Page 2).

7 Thoughts that Will Change Your Marriage #5

May 19, 2013 by Mrs. Hudson

5. The Marriage Comes Before the Kids.

As soon as children are born they take so much of our attention and energy. They’re needy, they’re demanding, and they’re ever so lovable. But don’t ever make the mistake of prioritizing them over the marriage.

The fact that you have kids means that your marriage matters more, not less, because now other people are counting on you. And what kids need more than anything else is stability. When their parents’ relationship is strong, they are free to grow, and explore, and learn without worry.

Your children are only given to you for a time, and yes, you have to love them. But the marriage relationship is the one that will endure until death. Children will move on; you sure don’t want your spouse to. So nurture the marriage first, even once kids come. It’s important–especially to them.

via 7 Thoughts that Will Change Your Marriage, Christian Engagement, Newlywed Couples (Page 2).

7 Thoughts that Will Change Your Marriage #2

May 19, 2013 by Mrs. Hudson

I am sharing with you 7 things that I read. This is one of 7 posts so be sure check out the rest. Take a minute and read what I read about 7 thoughts that…if you really stop and think about them… could change your marriage. Change it for the better. It is important to keep growing in our marriages. We are constantly changing… and so is our spouse. It is important to think about things in a new light every now and then and make sure we are doing our best to serve, Love, and understand our spouse.

2. I Can’t Change Him; I Can Only Change Me.

Has this thought ever entered your head: “I’d be happy if only he’d…” or “I’ll be happy as soon as he….” If you can fill in the blank, you may have a problem.

What you’re really saying is, “I won’t be happy until he….” You’re making a decision to place your happiness and your sense of peace outside of yourself and into someone else’s hands. You’re waiting for him to change.

The problem with that is that you can’t make anybody else change. Magazine covers don’t believe this; they’re filled with articles like, “7 Ways to Make Your Man More Romantic” or “How To Get Him to Help Around the House” or whatever else it may be. They’re focusing on you making him into the kind of person you want to be.

But that attitude is poison for a marriage. When you give your husband the idea: ” you are making me unsatisfied. You are failing me,” he will tend to retreat. He’d rather do things in his area of competence.

What if you’re really unhappy with the way things are? I understand. But nagging and withholding affection and becoming bitter cannot bring about positive change in a marriage. Here’s what can: changing yourself. You can change how you choose to react to him. You can change how you organize the house if you feel that too much is being asked of you. You can get more hobbies if you find yourself relying too much on your husband for adult conversation. (I cover all of this, and more, in my book To Love, Honor and Vacuum).

When you change, you also change the dynamic in the marriage, and that, in and of itself, may bring change in how he reacts to you, too. But insisting that he become someone else will only make you miserable.

via 7 Thoughts that Will Change Your Marriage, Christian Engagement, Newlywed Couples.

Treat Your Wife Like a Queen on Mother’s Day

May 11, 2013 by Mrs. Hudson

Mother’s Day is TOMORROW! Sunday, May 12th! You know you have seen your wife pick up after the kids, drive everyone around town, clean up after everyone and much much more! Below is a list of 10 things you can do to make this Mother’s Day a special one she will remember! Maybe even get the kids involved and have them pick something off the list too! She treats all of you like royalty each day… MAKE her feel like royalty this Mother’s Day! 😀

Flowers and dinner at her favorite restaurant are certainly welcome. But here are ten more ideas to treat your wife like a queen this Mother’s Day:

1. Offer a half day where you will do acts of service. Whether she asks you to plant flowers, clean your tool bench, go shopping with her or whatever, you’ll do it gladly! Shell love having you complete some items on the “honey do” list.

2. Instead of avoiding a chick flick like the plague, go ahead and rent one you think your wife would enjoy. Send your wife an invitation to a movie night. Light candles, make popcorn, and snuggle up under a blanket while you watch.

3. If your wife works outside the home, send a love note to her office on Friday before Mothers Day. Tell her how much you appreciate her hard work in caring for you and the children. Praise her for specific ways she mothers your children with patience, wisdom, a sense of humor, etc.

4. See all that laundry piled up in the basket? Surprise your spouse by doing the laundry and putting it away. Remember to separate the darks and maybe even set the washers setting to gentle to avoid ruining her favorite shirt.

5. Wash her car and vacuum the inside. Whether you have this done at a car wash or do it yourself, shell appreciate driving a clean vehicle.

6. Have an unhurried time of prayer for your wife. Ask her to share her needs with you. Hold hands as you pray for her. Look up Scriptures together to encourage you both. Make time during the week to continue to pray for your wife. Share anything the Lord may say to you during those prayer times.

7. Take care of the kids for an afternoon and tell your wife she’s got free time! She can get caught up on scrap booking, read a book, go to the store alone, watch a movie, have coffee with her girlfriend, whatever would re-charge her battery!

8. Turn your bedroom into a day spa. Draw a hot bath for your wife, complete with mountain high bubbles, candles and relaxing music. Then give her a Mothers Day massage. While you’re rubbing her shoulders and back, tell her how much you appreciate all the things she does for your family.

9. If your children are grown and out of the house, plan something special with them. Maybe this is the Mothers Day for all the children to travel home to surprise mom. Or everyone can plan to call at a certain time, or send letters of appreciation that you can put in a folder for your wife.

10. Hire a housekeeper to clean the house so the house will be sparkling for Mothers Day without your wife lifting a finger.

via Ten Ways to Treat Your Wife Like a Queen on Mother’s Day , Christian Engagement, Newlywed Couples.