Me: Wil look at this 2 lb. bucket of peanut brittle I got on sale at Sams. It was $2.91, Christmas clearance….do you like peanut brittle? Wil: Um no… Me: But you love mixed nuts, this has peanuts in it! Wil: It’s kinda not the same thing. Me: Wow I can’t believe I bought this huge bucket and you don’t even like it! Wil: It’s alright it won’t go to waste, it’ll be taken care of.. Me: (trying to be offended but unable to muster it…cuz it’s true…) Ahahahahaha (Mental Trip: That’s why I didn’t get you any mixed nuts from Sams… and you should know it was like a thousand pound can…however NOT on clearance so the can is still there. Merry UnChristmas!)

In our relationship with our spouse we have so many opportunities to be offended. I think when we actually step back we realize that a lot of the things we waste time angry about are things we could have actually chosen to laugh about and in so doing create a fun Facebook post.

I could have taken Wil’s comment as a slam or an attack on my weight. I could have pointed out his insensitivity or reminded him of the fact that I’ve carried and delivered his three children back to back from 2007 to 2010. I could have held out my list of daily duties that make it a struggle for me to get to the gym. I could have dramatically declared my cooking strike. Or silently initiated my bedroom strike. As funny as these possibilities may be, most of us wives… do, have done, or will do this. Unfortunately, for both parties we lose time and unknowingly we injure relationship.

When I laughed at Wil the Great’s accurate assessment that I’ll have no problem taking care of the two- pound tub of peanut brittle I was actually creating safety in our relationship. A safety I’m actually desperate for. Conversely, when I pick apart everything he says. Or tell him what he means when he speaks, I’m creating volatility. I’m actually designing a man who will be so unsure of my responses from incident to incident that in many cases he will simply choose to remain silent. Which will anger me because as a woman built in my DNA is a craving for deep communication.

If you’re a wife reading this, make the decision to choose to see the best in your husband. Choose to filter his comments through the strong conviction that he loves you. When you do that you will create laughter and joy even at your expense. It’s worth it because with each of these moments you’re getting closer to the marriage you would script if you were Francine Rivers or Karen Kingsbury. There will be plenty of opportunities to hash out legitimate offenses such as: toilet paper roll replacement, trash can retrieval, or the necessity of warming your cold feet on his warm legs. I’m simply saying don’t wast time on counterfeit offenses. 🙂

By the way I’m almost done with the peanut brittle and it hasn’t taken very long. I guess Wil the Great can’t help his prophetic bent.