Better Than Newlyweds

Where the Honeymoon never ends!

Marriage and Motherhood are Wonderful Teachers | Stacy Hudson

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Marriage and Motherhood can teach us a lot if we let them.

{So I didn’t get the below blog post published in time to go out in the “Marriage Monday” email… but I’m not letting that stop me. I wrote the below on 10-25-2015 at around 1 in the morning.}

I’m just now getting to bed after a long but wonderful day that was proceeded by a long but not so wonderful day and night. My sister-in-love (my hubby’s sister) got married today! And We were up all last night with our baby girl and a stomach virus.

I’m just laying here looking at the two most precious blessings in my life. I would take their picture but I don’t want to risk waking them. This is one memory I’m going to have to tuck away in my heart for safe keeping.

They are my two most precious blessings and they are also my greatest trials.

Let me explain. 🙂

Marriage and Motherhood are Wonderful Teachers

Marriage is a wonderful teacher. When my husband and I have disagreements (I prefer to call them “disagreements” rather than fighting! 😉 ) I always learn more about myself and how I need to grow and change. I see my selfishness. I see my impatience. I also learn more about my hubby. I see his kind heart and his patience with me. Those things are what I remember after we have a “disagreement”. After all, those are the important things.

Motherhood is a wonderful teacher also. With our sweet baby girl… well… motherhood is just hard….And that is an understatement. I have a new appreciation for my mom and all moms out there.

Every sleepless night and every night filled with crying fits and a wide awake baby…they end up teaching me something. I learn that I am stronger than I think I am. I learn that my husband is more caring than I ever knew. I learn that the patience I have with my baby and the joy I get from watching her learn new things is how God is patient with me. He also delights when I learn new ways to honor Him and live a Godly life. In the middle of it though… to be honest… I usually hate it… and I often ask “why is motherhood like this?” There is almost nothing more heartbreaking than a crying baby that nothing seems to help. 🙁 But once we are on the other side of it… and she is sleeping peacefully on my chest… a calm comes over me and I feel like I can do it again the next day. As my mom often sings… “One day at a time.”

I would encourage you to try to and remember those things. Look at what you can learn from the trials in your life. God is always patient with you and wanting teach you something new about yourself and those in your life.

Marriage and Motherhood are wonderful teachers if we are willing students.

Easier said than done I know… but just try. It is better than remembering the bad things that make us bitter and I bet we are all pretty good at that. It’s time we change our focus. It’s time we focus on God.

 

LETTING BITTERNESS GO | Better Than Newlyweds

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Keys to a better marriage: letting bitterness go:

Let your bitterness go. Don’t hold on to it. Don’t allow it to eat you up until it turns to anger or hatred. Bitterness can show up in many ways in your relationship, it can come from past unresolved hurts and pains, unfilled expectations, your spouse hurting you with unkind words or actions and of course sins.

Bitterness grows when we fail to forgive and let go. Jesus asked us to always be in the forgiveness mode when He told the disciples to forgive 70 times 7 Mat 18:22. I know what you might be thinking, we all know we should forgive but its not easy. Jesus also said, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice” (Ephesians 4:31).

Forgiveness is very important in moving forward in any relationship. So the question is how do we do that. First if possible you need to talk to your mate about the problems. Do you know sometimes you mate may not even be aware they are hurting you. You need to be willing to look inwardly. Can you pray and seek God on what is causing this bitterness, what is at the root. Once you know and understand the reasons you can repent and pray the word over it and allow the Holy Spirit to begin dealing with it.

Of course you must learn to forgive your spouse. You will not always feel it at first. But work at it. Feeling follow confession. Begin watering the relationship with kind words and strive to find ways to build one another up. Most of all begin praying for one another and pray together to soften one another hearts and build your relationship with the Father. Strive to become better communicators to help stop hurting one another. If nothing else be willing to humble yourself and seek counseling.

I believe every relationship can be saved if each spouse is willing to yield to God’s leading and learn to forgive one another. This is not an easy key but it has great potential for freedom and liberty. Learn to let go bitterness and learn to forgive. When you do this, you will live a life of peace.

James Ogunyemi

DON’T TAKE YOUR SPOUSE FOR GRANTED

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DON’T TAKE YOUR SPOUSE FOR GRANTED

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There are times we take people for granted including our relationships, most especially our relationship with our spouse or partner.

Never take your relationship for granted. When we do that we are making room for the enemy to infiltrate our homes. The word says that he that finds a wife finds a good thing. That also means the reverse is true that a wife that finds a husband finds a good thing. God gave you his wonderful grace and mercy when he let you have one of his special children. We are not perfect but we are special in our own way.

The truth is God gives us that special someone to help us grow and to help them grow. So you need to be ready for some stretching and a little adjustment. Another thing is to never let your marriage becomes ordinary or just one of those things.

Your marriage is superb and extra ordinary and you should see it that way. What you should do is to be on your knees everyday and thank God that he gave you such a wonderful person and learn how to be a blessing and a helper. God has entrusted to your care a great gift. You need to learn how to admire one another for your God given gifts and abilities.

There is nothing more important then seeking God daily for your spouse, family and relationship, you pray that God would make your union a blissful one. God has truly blessed you to have a mate that loves and cares for you and the one that will stand with you and by you in tough and rough times.

You stand in your commitment towards your spouse and believe in him/her. Take your home seriously and guide it jealously. Watch and guard your relationship. Don’t take anything for granted. Remember the ace/s is in your hands to make your marriage a success.

DIY Curb Appeal Makeover Phase 1: Front Garden Project |Stacy Hudson |Better Than Newlyweds

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So my to do list for my business, household, house projects, and just life never seems to end. I’m trying to just get things done instead of waiting to have the perfect plan to get things done… cause in reality… things never work out like we plan them anyways right?!  And DONE is better than NOT!  So we are learning to do things in phases. Sometimes that means things look a little ugly before they get prettier BUT the important part is they eventually GET DONE! 

Our front garden area was always a project we knew we would have to tackle one day but we just didn’t know when and it really wasn’t a priority. Well, over the past few months we have been praying about the path God wanted us to take and a calling for us to possibly move.  This would mean of course, selling our house. THAT would mean A LOT of things but we knew that it for sure meant we needed to work on our curb appeal in case that was the direction we felt like God wanted us to go. So we got to work!

This is a picture of the front garden as it has grown over the past year and  a half or so that we have lived here…obviously we neglected it and it grew!

front before 20140302_175341
This is a picture of the front garden as it has grown over the past year and a half or so that we have lived here…obviously we neglected it and it grew!

So first thing I did was trim what we already had in place and it looked better BUT neither of us was really happy with that as the final product. And with my HH (Handsome Hubby) being a realtor… I knew for sure it wasn’t gonna fly like that if we ended up selling and moving.  What do you think……(picture below)? 😀

front before garden redo 20140307_153117_Port Hudson Dr

 

So we decided to dig everything up. Some of the plants we decided to relocate… others we gave away or just tossed. You know no one wants those annoying painful sticker plants anyhow! It always seems we wait til it is warmish or hot to do outdoor projects! One year we will have to do these when it is cooler out! Either way phase 1 of clean up and dig up was under way!  We had some leftover pavers from the patio we put in on the side of our carport (post coming soon) and I wanted to use them in the front somewhere. I tried them out for a path way but decided to do something else with them that I’ll be posting about later! So stay tuned!

front garden removing plants

yap digging 20140320_182112_Port Hudson Dr

Our dog, Lagniappe (pronounced Lan – Yap), offered to help us dig! 😀 It is one of his specialties!  After we dug up the plants we added some dirt to the beds to fill them out some! Then we tilled it to mix up the new/old dirt. My great Father in Law helped us with that! 😀 tilling 20140320_190914_Port Hudson Dr

tilled 20140321_132143_Port Hudson Dr

Phase 1 done! Here is a list of all that we did! It was a lot of work but the end result will be worth it!

cleaned up old bed
trimmed old plants
dug up old plants
relocated old plants
added dirt to beds (we did the left side of the house too!)
tilled the beds

front right garden before 20140302_175253tilled 20140321_132143_Port Hudson Dr

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now we are ready to figure out the shape we want and plants we want! Phase 2 post coming soon!

Do you like to garden? What is your favorite plant?

Share your garden adventures in a comment below!

Jeremiah 29:5 Build ye houses, and dwell in them; and plant gardens, and eat the fruit of them;

STEPS TO MARRIAGE RECONCILIATION | Better Than Newlyweds

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STEPS TO MARRIAGE RECONCILIATIONdecision-13550502488fQ

These steps will put you and your spouse back on the right track if you will prayerfully follow it and ask God to help both of you put them into practice .

1. Swallow Your Pride – The Bible says, pride comes before the fall. That means pride will always lead to your destruction. In this case, the destruction of your marriage is at hand if you don’t swallow your pride. So take a long hard look at yourself. Are you the kind of person you really want to see. That’s right. Even if you believe your partner is the blame for the breakdown of your marriage. Examine yourself to see what you could have done differently. Now accept responsibility for your actions and be willing to admit your mistakes. None is perfect and we all make mistakes. Be ready to say am sorry and lower your ego.

2. Forgive – Once you’ve swallowed pride, you should ask for forgiveness and then extend forgiveness to your spouse for their offenses against you. Forgiveness must always be a two way street. It is not and should not be a one way lane. If you think she is the one that offends you, you too must have done something that was overlooked at.

3. Stop Blaming – Don’t waste time pointing fingers at each other. This sort of behavior is unproductive. Instead of approaching your conversations from the standpoint of me vs. you, approach your discussions from the standpoint of us vs. the problem. By doing so, you will avoid the blame game.

4. Learn from the Past – Use your marriage mistakes as a springboard to propel your relationship to a higher level. If you learn from your mistakes, you are less likely to repeat them.

5.Don’t bring the past into the future. Leave the Past in the Past – In other words, let go and move forward. Don’t remind your spouse of what s/ he did or how things use to be. If you really want reconciliation you’ve got to let go of the past. The past is history and should not be brought into the future.

6. Be Patient – Your marriage did not fall apart over night and therefore cannot be repaired over night. Rebuilding your marriage is a process that will take a lot of patience and determination from you.

7. Get Godly Counsel – Don’t seek ungodly or unqualified counsel from friends and peers who don’t know the Lord. As a child of God, you should only accept counsel from fellow believers who are spiritually mature and from those that God has called into such ministry.

8. Allow the Holy Spirit to work in you and your spouse. It is when we submit to the leadership and guidance of the Holy Spirit that we can have true reconciliation. The Holy Spirit knows us all and knows how to deal with us when we surrender to him.

9. Be Honest. Be honest with your spouse. Especially in the area of finance. This is one of the thing that rocks marriages and capsize the boat of most marriage. We should also be honest in all other areas. Be ready to admit when confronted with wrong and be quick to say am sorry. This will help marriage union to be fruitful.

10. Control your Temper and Anger. One of the steps to true reconciliation in marriages is the control of temper and anger management. Your temper can mar things coupled with fierce anger. You should be able to put it under control. Lastly Trust one another. Live in trust and allow trust to rule your home. James Ogunyemi

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