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Renew Your Mind to Renew Your Marriage | Stacy Hudson

March 13, 2017 by Mrs. Hudson

Have you ever been guilty of “stinkin’ thinkin'”? All of us have done it before. We expected the worst and that is usually what we got. If we are not careful “stinkin’ thinkin'” will affect our marriages. Always thinking negatively about your husband or always expecting the worst outcome is a sure way to have an unhappy marriage.

It is so crucial that you guard your heart and renew your mind daily. In marriage it is easy to gt upset and stay upset. After all, our husbands are human so they will make mistakes. We can choose to dwell on those and let bitterness take root in our hearts or we can remember that God’s mercy is new every morning and we should walk in it.

Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;[a]
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23

If God’s mercies are new every morning for us, why do we not offer the same for our husbands? Being married… being one with someone… means that everything they do or don’t do… affects us more than if it were just a friend. Our husbands are the ones who we bare our souls to and our bodies… this leaves us more vulnerable and means that the pain from a betrayal or let down will cut deeper and hurt longer. With God’s help we can heal and overcome. With God’s help we can forgive and turn any test of our marriages into a testimony.

My friend, Karen who writes at Redeeming Love, shared with me some scriptures that helped her turn their test into a testimony.

Here are some of my favorite scriptures. I read His word and cried out to God so much while I was standing and praying for my marriage and family ? They lifted me and filled my heart exactly when I needed. I hope they encourage you too.

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. (Hebrews 10:23-25 ESV)

And you will feel secure, because there is hope; you will look around and take your rest in security. (‭Job‬ ‭11‬:‭18‬ ESV)

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. (‭1 Peter‬ ‭5‬:‭10‬ ESV)

Whoever winks the eye causes trouble, and a babbling fool will come to ruin. (‭Proverbs‬ ‭10‬:‭10‬ ESV)

And I looked and arose and said to the nobles and to the officials and to the rest of the people, “Do not be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes.” (‭Nehemiah‬ ‭4‬:‭14‬ ESV)

My husband’s wedding ring seemed to be missing – again. | Guest Blogger – Susan B. Mead

March 6, 2017 by Mrs. Hudson

Have you ever lost something dear to you and thought just show up, please?

You look high and low – then look again, retracing every step and picking up every piece of paper in your path. Yet you are disappointed, distraught and even disgusted with yourself (or whomever!) for losing that precious thing in the first place.

Yea, me too.

My husband’s wedding ring seemed to be missing – again. Not the first time this year, but the second time, his wedding band was MIA. We are wedded, yet I was deeply wounded by this loss. A gulf emerged, separating the two of us.

Anger, hurt, and dismay warred within me. He remembers his watch, yet forgets ME echoed in my head. Silly, I know, yet in my mind, when he removes his wedding ring it seems to distance his heart from mine too.

Anybody else dealt with similar thoughts and feelings, for whatever reason?

Was I out of my mind to think like this? Holt loves me – and was distraught at the loss – his loss. With so much emotion at play, I had to decide to walk in wisdom. Emotionally rocked is a vulnerable place – and I do not want to put my marriage on the rocks!

Would I wind up words, hurl them, hurt him-& our marriage–over a thing–his ring?

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Or would I line up beside him, raising hands and praising God for His faithfulness?

God kept us together through the hardest loss of all, the loss of a child, a son, our youngest one. Family is key.

8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 1 Peter 5:8-10 (NIV)

Does a thing – a ring – really matter? There’s a better question – where is my treasure?

Treasures in Heaven

19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:19-21 (NIV)

Truth hit me – square in the face. This is exactly where the enemy wants me – and you – to be – warring with our husbands – for whatever reason. We must choose to build bridges built on love, trust, and hope with the mighty hand of God guiding us.

So we looked again, thinking just show up, please. Seemed like nothing – except prayer and praise – would raise this thing!

God knocked on my heart early today, so up I got out of bed and down I sat to read His Word and pray His will – with a special prayer raised for revealing the wedding ring, restoring the thing that symbolizes my husband’s commitment to our marriage.

“Please let it just show up, God.”

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Knock, knock, Holt rapped on my door, something he seldom does when I pray. He just showed up at the door, raised his hand, revealing his ring, restored to it’s rightful place!

You know what he said?

“It just showed up on the top of my dresser,
in plain sight.”

Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him! Isaiah 30:18 (NIV)

Praise God! As I reflect, I see that only You, God, place that which is lost right in front of us – when we just show up in prayer and praise, trusting You to rise up when we need You.

About Susan B. Mead:

With over 2 million airline miles under her belt, an MBA hanging on the wall and 2 Christian Literary Awards on the shelf, Susan B Mead shares her expert teachings on business, grief and relationships. A master storyteller and award winning author, Susan leaves audiences motivated to live a life free of regrets even though she has done the hardest thing any parent can do – bury her youngest son, Kyle.

Susan has been described as a solid, comforting voice in a messy world. Whether speaking to business professionals, women’s conferences, industry leaders or writer’s workshops, Susan’s insightful wisdom inspires audiences, empowering them to make healthy mental u-turns.

Connect with Susan on her website where she writes each Friday, on Facebook and Twitter where she posts scripture graphics and daily inspiration or on Amazon where her book, Dance With Jesus: From Grief to Grace, is available.

Website – SusanBMead.com
Facebook – Facebook.com/AuthorSusanBMead
Twitter – Twitter.com/SusanBMead
Amazon – Dance With Jesus: From Grief to Grace

Choosing to Love First | Better Than Newlyweds | Guest Blogger Jacinta Huang

January 2, 2017 by Mrs. Hudson

Psalm 32:8

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;

I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.”

Dear Wives,

How has your day been? Did you have a good conversation with your husband? Have you managed to enjoy some downtime together after work?

This message has been weighing heavily on my heart these past few weeks. The message on choosing to love first. I pray for God to speak to you through these words as I type, knowing that only the Holy Spirit can convict and move our hearts.

He came home happily from work. There was dinner on the table, and he was about to change out from his work clothes so he could play with our baby daughter, Ellie. It was one of those typical days. Nothing very special about it. I cannot remember what happened after that, but there was a miscommunication of sorts, and I just snapped.

Yes, I was tired out from taking care of Ellie and yes, he may have been in the wrong.

But in that moment, I was annoyed and frustrated, very desperate for a bath, and so I snapped.

I was wrong too.

He was upset with me.

I was upset with myself too.

I berated myself with thoughts like, “Why can’t I just get this wife thing right? Why do I always feel like a lousy wife? Couldn’t I be more patient?”

But other thoughts would come up to counter these guilty feelings. “Why can’t he just learn to communicate better? Haven’t we read enough books or learned enough over the years? Why must I be the one to apologize first?”

Wives, can you relate?

When we are married to another imperfect person, why do we become surprised when their imperfections show? After all, we are full of sin and weaknesses too.

It is a choice that I’ve learned to constantly make. It does not matter who was right – that discussion can be done at a later time. But in every heated moment, there comes a choice that we must make – are you going to love first?

Choosing to Love First

When you love first, love becomes the priority, not whether he knows you were right all along.

When you love first, you give him the space to be an imperfect person. He does not feel the pressure to change, and he knows he is loved unconditionally by you.

When you make that powerful decision to love first, you are training your heart to be more like Christ. After all, Christ demonstrated such unmatchable love for us – by choosing to sacrifice and love us first.

The next time that you get into a tense moment with your husband, take a quiet moment with the Lord and pray for strength to love first. Reach out to touch his hand, look into his eyes and before you speak, remember the man you fell in love with. Believe that he is giving his best too, just like you. Take that step towards his heart, and know that God will instruct you in what to say for reconciliation to take place. 🙂

Smile, and reconnect.

Extend grace.

Endure the uncomfortable feelings knowing that there is a greater reward on the other side.

Don’t miss the great wisdom that God wants you to witness through your obedience to love first.

Rest in the peace of knowing that you are exactly where you should be – in the loving arms of God, loving the one you have vowed to be there for, in good times and in bad.

Will you choose to fight for your marriage and love first today? I’m right there with you sister, and I am rooting for you.

How to be a Trustworthy Wife | Stacy Hudson | Better Than Newlyweds

October 10, 2016 by Mrs. Hudson

Don’t you want to be a trustworthy wife? I know I do. I want my husband to know he can trust me and depend on me just like I trust and depend on him. We are a team. God is our coach. (Cheesy yes… but also true.)

” The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain.” Proverbs 31:11-12

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I have read this verse many time before in my lifetime but this last time I read it God kept it in my mind. I kept thinking about the part where he would have “no lack of gain.” Who wouldn’t want that for their husbands right? I want that for him so badly because he works so hard. What hit me this time was the part that came before it, the precursor if you will to the “no lack of gain” part, was about me.

This got me thinking and asking questions. It made me take a personal inventory. Does this mean that if my husband can’t trust me he will have lack and no gain? Does this mean if he lacks confidence in me that that will result in lack? What can I do to earn his trust and confidence? How can I be a trustworthy wife? The very next verse answers that question.

She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life. Proverbs 31:12

He will trust me when I do him good and not evil. He will have confidence in me when I encourage and help him. The trustworthy wife seeks to do him good all the days of her life.

As much as we might want it to the Bible doesn’t say “the husband who is constantly corrected or put down by his wife will have no lack of gain” …it says the opposite! The Bible brings up “nagging” (or similar words) several times. That means we should take note and then take inventory of our motives.

Better to live on the corner of a roof
than to share a house with a nagging wife. Proverbs 21:9

Better to live in a wilderness
than with a nagging and hot-tempered wife. Proverbs 21:19

And another repetition…which means “pay attention”

Better to live on the corner of a roof

than to share a house with a nagging wife. Proverbs 25:24

I do not think most wives “nag” on purpose. I think the majority of us truly want our husbands to do well and feel that we can help them if they would only listen to us. If that is not your motivation I would beg you to search your heart and ask God to help you in that area.

In order to be a trustworthy wife we must acknowledge that God’s thoughts are higher than our thoughts and His plans greater than our plans.

What if we are hindering our husbands instead of helping? What if we are also hindering ourselves?

What if we realized that our help comes from God so we should let God be our husband’s help as well?!? We would see that in giving up that control and the need to fix him and put him down the path we want for him…not only would he gain freedom but we would gain freedom as well. It was never God’s intention our husband’s choices to sit on our shoulders. When we give that up and give it to God… it is in His hands and it is on Him to bring the “no lack of gain”to pass.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55:8-9

Psalm 121

My Help Comes from the Lord
A Song of Ascents.

121 I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot be moved;
he who keeps you will not slumber.
4 Behold, he who keeps Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The Lord is your keeper;
the Lord is your shade on your right hand.
6 The sun shall not strike you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The Lord will keep you from all evil;
he will keep your life.
8 The Lord will keep
your going out and your coming in
from this time forth and forevermore.

If I am always seeking God’s heart my husband’s heart is safe and he can trust me. If I always look to God for my help then my husband can trust me.

If I am always seeking God’s heart my husband’s heart is safe and he can trust me.

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My friend Ailie from www.p3alive.com shared with me how she fights for her husband’s heart and how her husband can trust her when God is her anchor. She is a trusthworthy wife because she draws he strength and peace from God.

I fight for my husband’s heart by running to Jesus. It doesn’t matter how different we are in our spiritual views. The more I am in God’s presence the more equipped I am to love deeply, extend utmost respect and treat his heart sensitively. God is my anchor. He keeps me steady. This is where my hubby can find himself trusting me. I can handle life because God handles me. Instead of being caught up in the whirlwinds of circumstances, my hubby can lean into the peace and strength God brings to me and also to him through me.

A trustworthy wife is the crown of her husband

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4

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I want to be the crown of my husband. I do not want to bring him shame and rottenness in his bones. There is no middle ground and no grey area. The options are clear but that doesn’t mean the choice is easy. It is hard to give up control when we love them so much. It is hard to give up what we desire for them because we care so much. However, I think that is exactly why we must give up control. So, maybe the choice isn’t that hard after all?

“The Great Flood of 2016” Will Prove God is Greater | Stacy Hudson | Better Than Newlyweds

August 22, 2016 by Mrs. Hudson

“The Great Flood of 2016” is what they are calling it. Something twists in my gut calling the flood “great”. “The Great Flood of 2016” will prove God is greater. This past week has been one of the most heart wrenching weeks of my life. Countless family and friends had their homes flood here in Louisiana. Most of them do not have flood insurance because they do not live in a flood plain. Many areas that were “never supposed to flood”…flooded. Water was down our street just a third of a mile! Flooding was the last thing I was concerned about…until this past week. I couldn’t sleep because my heart broke for those losing everything. I couldn’t sleep because I was watching the water rise. I couldn’t sleep because I was getting our “Evacuation Kit” prepared. This is something I have wanted to do for a long time… because of Hurricanes though…not floods.

A flood was never expected in my neighborhood. But neighbors less than a half a mile from our home now have their lives in piles on the street. The have stacks of sheet rock and carpet torn out of their house piled up next to their lives. I am trying to do what I can from home to help but feeling “stuck” at home with our 1 year old is hard. My husband has been serving non stop. In the beginning he was rescuing people from houses. Now he is gutting his parent’s house and also neighbor’s houses. We are “one” right? So, he is an extension of me right?… That makes me feel a little better. I couldn’t be more proud of him. He truly has a servant’s heart and I Love him more each day because of it. My parents were able to keep our baby girl one night so hubby and I could go gut his parent’s house for our “date night”. Sounds real romantic right? Oddly enough, there was something romantic about working together to fix what the flood had broken.

Going through a heartbreak together gives us the opportunity to heal together. The keyword being, together. In times of crisis and emotional turmoil be patient and honest with your spouse. Allow your broken hearts to heal together. You are one. Let this experience bring you closer and bind your hearts together in a way that would not be possible otherwise. You will end up with a stronger bond than before and you will see God’s goodness.

Even though this past week has been tough… our resolve here in Louisiana is tougher. I have been so encouraged and inspired by my friends during this time. I want to share with you what God is doing in their lives through this tragedy. God is already working things for their good and the studs aren’t even dry yet! He is faithful and He is in control.

The Lord spared our home from the flood but our small business was flooded. The small private Christian school, Victory Academy-grades pre-k to 8th, my husband graduated from along with our two older children and now praying that our two younger children will graduate from was also flooded. My husband who also serves as a State Representative is helping in rebuilding our community as well. He volunteered to help lead in getting the school up and fully operational as soon as possible. He’s exhausted and overwhelmed as well as humble and grateful that he can help so many. He also spend the first two days after the flood using our small boat to rescue those in the community. He has a heart of gold and serves with passion. I have prayed to The Lord about where He wants me to serve in all this. And I struggle with what He has called me to do because I don’t think is it enough. But then He reminds me that as long as I obey and that I am in His will it is more than enough. So The Lord calls me in all of this to be there for my husband at all times in whatever he needs. He’s out there serving, volunteering, ect for those The Lord places in his path and I am to be there to love, care, encourage, cook, clean, run errands, take care of our children’s needs, to be ready and willing to help him with whatever he ask. I am his wife, his helpmate, his best friend, and dare I say I’m here to serve him. So I’m doing exactly what his vital and necessary during this time. I love my husband there is nothing more precious to me right now then his well being physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually and I pray daily that The Lord helps me meet his needs with His help of course. – Julie Ivey

November 18 will mark my 10 year wedding anniversary! Mike and I have have had our share of ups and downs like everyone else in life. Six months after we were married, Mike’s dad passed away. We had three miscarriages before our beautiful daughters were born. Our house flooded with 24 inches of water a week ago. We lost many things but not our faith in God! He has surrounded us with loving friends and family. We have so many more joys than disappointments in our ten years together. Michael Savoie amazes me every day. He is a great father and a loving husband. Our journey together gives me strength to face each new day! I love my husband!!! – Heather Austin Savoie

The Lord sits enthroned over the flood;

the Lord is enthroned as King forever.

The Lord gives strength to his people;

the Lord blesses his people with peace.

Psalm 29:10,11

I designed this shirt to raise money to help Louisiana flood survivors! If you click “Shirt style” you can pick other styles and colors (including purple!)! Countless family and friends have lost their homes to flooding and do not have flood insurance. All profits will go to help them. Thank you. http://www.bluecotton.com/campaigns/louisianaflood2016

Have you ever lost something dear to you and thought just show up, please?

Or would I line up beside him, raising hands and praising God for His faithfulness?

Treasures in Heaven

So we looked again, thinking just show up, please. Seemed like nothing – except prayer and praise – would raise this thing!

“It just showed up on the top of my dresser, in plain sight.”

About Susan B. Mead:

Wives, can you relate?

Choosing to Love First

In order to be a trustworthy wife we must acknowledge that God’s thoughts are higher than our thoughts and His plans greater than our plans.

A trustworthy wife is the crown of her husband

The Lord sits enthroned over the flood;

the Lord is enthroned as King forever.

The Lord gives strength to his people;

the Lord blesses his people with peace.

Psalm 29:10,11

AFFILIATE DISCLOSURE

“It just showed up on the top of my dresser,
in plain sight.”