I have heard a lot of ways for couples to…”get on the same page”. You have probably heard them too…Set a goal list, share your dreams with each other, make a 5 years plan, etc. However, sometimes even after couples follow those steps they still have issues feeling like they are on the “same page” with their spouse. I started thinking about why this might be and I realized that if two people are headed in the same direction in marriage… even to the same goal… but are not walking together… they are not having a marriage… they are having a fight!

Take a look at this map…they both start at point A and end up at point B…but the route they take to get there is very different…they definitely didn’t carpool!

  How does this happen? Or maybe a better question is how to KEEP this from happening? I think one way is to never stop talking… sharing…each step, each turn, each choice needs to be made together…as a team… just as if you were carpooling with your spouse… you would be incapable of going 2 different directions while riding in the same car! In marriage I think we forget sometimes that we ARE riding in the same car! That means sometimes we might need to slow down so our spouse feels comfortable or that we need to take a different road so they can unload some emotional baggage somewhere along the way. Be sure to ask your spouse if they have any stops to make or if you are driving too fast. 🙂

Although the above idea makes sense…I think there is another way to look at it… that being the fact that even though you and your spouse may want to end up in the same place… you may be in different places in your life to start the journey. Yes, you are married and in the same place as far as that goes BUT spiritually you are more than likely in VERY different places. I can also imagine being that men and women are very different I am willing to go out on a limb and say that you both are in different places emotionally as well. This means that more than likely… not only is the route you take to the same destination going to be different…but your starting points will be different also. Take this map for instance… one route stays on land while the other uses the water.  You might need to get your feet wet while your spouse might need to stay on dry land. The beauty of that thought though…while it seems impossible to do both at once and still stay together on the journey… it is possible… and while walking together hand in hand the view is beautiful. The way to get your feet wet while letting your spouse stay on dry land is… a stroll on the beach hand in hand. It may not be as wet as you had planned to get… or as safe or dry as your spouse wanted…but you are together. Some may call that settling or giving in/up…but I think it is not settling for a mediocre marriage… it is striving to be better than when you were newlyweds…not giving up on your marriage and doing things as if you were both single. You are a team…and sometimes that means going at the pace of the slowest team member in order to finish the race. And I’m not sure finishing the race or accomplishing your goals is the true point of being married… I think the point is doing whatever you are doing… together.

For better or worse.

For richer or poorer.

In sickness and in health.

Until death do us part.