These steps will put you and your spouse back on the right track if you will prayerfully follow it and ask God to help both of you put them into practice .
1. Swallow Your Pride – The Bible says, pride comes before the fall. That means pride will always lead to your destruction. In this case, the destruction of your marriage is at hand if you don’t swallow your pride. So take a long hard look at yourself. Are you the kind of person you really want to see. That’s right. Even if you believe your partner is the blame for the breakdown of your marriage. Examine yourself to see what you could have done differently. Now accept responsibility for your actions and be willing to admit your mistakes. None is perfect and we all make mistakes. Be ready to say am sorry and lower your ego.
2. Forgive – Once you’ve swallowed pride, you should ask for forgiveness and then extend forgiveness to your spouse for their offenses against you. Forgiveness must always be a two way street. It is not and should not be a one way lane. If you think she is the one that offends you, you too must have done something that was overlooked at.
3. Stop Blaming – Don’t waste time pointing fingers at each other. This sort of behavior is unproductive. Instead of approaching your conversations from the standpoint of me vs. you, approach your discussions from the standpoint of us vs. the problem. By doing so, you will avoid the blame game.
4. Learn from the Past – Use your marriage mistakes as a springboard to propel your relationship to a higher level. If you learn from your mistakes, you are less likely to repeat them.
5.Don’t bring the past into the future. Leave the Past in the Past – In other words, let go and move forward. Don’t remind your spouse of what s/ he did or how things use to be. If you really want reconciliation you’ve got to let go of the past. The past is history and should not be brought into the future.
6. Be Patient – Your marriage did not fall apart over night and therefore cannot be repaired over night. Rebuilding your marriage is a process that will take a lot of patience and determination from you.
7. Get Godly Counsel – Don’t seek ungodly or unqualified counsel from friends and peers who don’t know the Lord. As a child of God, you should only accept counsel from fellow believers who are spiritually mature and from those that God has called into such ministry.
8. Allow the Holy Spirit to work in you and your spouse. It is when we submit to the leadership and guidance of the Holy Spirit that we can have true reconciliation. The Holy Spirit knows us all and knows how to deal with us when we surrender to him.
9. Be Honest. Be honest with your spouse. Especially in the area of finance. This is one of the thing that rocks marriages and capsize the boat of most marriage. We should also be honest in all other areas. Be ready to admit when confronted with wrong and be quick to say am sorry. This will help marriage union to be fruitful.
10. Control your Temper and Anger. One of the steps to true reconciliation in marriages is the control of temper and anger management. Your temper can mar things coupled with fierce anger. You should be able to put it under control. Lastly Trust one another. Live in trust and allow trust to rule your home. James Ogunyemi