My husband’s wedding ring seemed to be missing – again. | Guest Blogger – Susan B. Mead

March 6, 2017 by Mrs. Hudson

Have you ever lost something dear to you and thought just show up, please?

You look high and low – then look again, retracing every step and picking up every piece of paper in your path. Yet you are disappointed, distraught and even disgusted with yourself (or whomever!) for losing that precious thing in the first place.

Yea, me too.

My husband’s wedding ring seemed to be missing – again. Not the first time this year, but the second time, his wedding band was MIA. We are wedded, yet I was deeply wounded by this loss. A gulf emerged, separating the two of us.

Anger, hurt, and dismay warred within me. He remembers his watch, yet forgets ME echoed in my head. Silly, I know, yet in my mind, when he removes his wedding ring it seems to distance his heart from mine too.

Anybody else dealt with similar thoughts and feelings, for whatever reason?

Was I out of my mind to think like this? Holt loves me – and was distraught at the loss – his loss. With so much emotion at play, I had to decide to walk in wisdom. Emotionally rocked is a vulnerable place – and I do not want to put my marriage on the rocks!

Would I wind up words, hurl them, hurt him-& our marriage–over a thing–his ring?

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Or would I line up beside him, raising hands and praising God for His faithfulness?

God kept us together through the hardest loss of all, the loss of a child, a son, our youngest one. Family is key.

8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 1 Peter 5:8-10 (NIV)

Does a thing – a ring – really matter? There’s a better question – where is my treasure?

Treasures in Heaven

19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:19-21 (NIV)

Truth hit me – square in the face. This is exactly where the enemy wants me – and you – to be – warring with our husbands – for whatever reason. We must choose to build bridges built on love, trust, and hope with the mighty hand of God guiding us.

So we looked again, thinking just show up, please. Seemed like nothing – except prayer and praise – would raise this thing!

God knocked on my heart early today, so up I got out of bed and down I sat to read His Word and pray His will – with a special prayer raised for revealing the wedding ring, restoring the thing that symbolizes my husband’s commitment to our marriage.

“Please let it just show up, God.”

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Knock, knock, Holt rapped on my door, something he seldom does when I pray. He just showed up at the door, raised his hand, revealing his ring, restored to it’s rightful place!

You know what he said?

“It just showed up on the top of my dresser,
in plain sight.”

Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him! Isaiah 30:18 (NIV)

Praise God! As I reflect, I see that only You, God, place that which is lost right in front of us – when we just show up in prayer and praise, trusting You to rise up when we need You.

About Susan B. Mead:

With over 2 million airline miles under her belt, an MBA hanging on the wall and 2 Christian Literary Awards on the shelf, Susan B Mead shares her expert teachings on business, grief and relationships. A master storyteller and award winning author, Susan leaves audiences motivated to live a life free of regrets even though she has done the hardest thing any parent can do – bury her youngest son, Kyle.

Susan has been described as a solid, comforting voice in a messy world. Whether speaking to business professionals, women’s conferences, industry leaders or writer’s workshops, Susan’s insightful wisdom inspires audiences, empowering them to make healthy mental u-turns.

Connect with Susan on her website where she writes each Friday, on Facebook and Twitter where she posts scripture graphics and daily inspiration or on Amazon where her book, Dance With Jesus: From Grief to Grace, is available.

Website – SusanBMead.com
Facebook – Facebook.com/AuthorSusanBMead
Twitter – Twitter.com/SusanBMead
Amazon – Dance With Jesus: From Grief to Grace

Marriage with God at the Center | Stacy Hudson | Better Than Newlyweds

November 28, 2016 by Mrs. Hudson

Marriage with God at the center –

I was thinking about how important it is for us to grow with God recently and He of course challenged my train of thought. We can only control what we do and how we grow and we must continually seek God. However, because we are married, we should always desire to grow in God together with our husbands to have a marriage with God at the center.

We should seek to have a marriage with God at the center.

God helped me understand this by showing me two individual trees. They were both standing tall with a good root system and strong branches. Then He showed me a bigger tree that was made up of two trees growing together and their intertwined trunks made it stronger than the individual trees. This tree was taller and the reach of its branches was longer. The height and longer branches also made it heavier. It had more weight to bear than the individual tree but because of its intertwined trunk it was able to withstand the burden.

The most interesting thing God showed me about the intertwined tree was that the two trees were not just all tangled up with each other. They had grown around a center tree. Its roots were now their roots. I know in my own marriage when we are just focused on ourselves and our marriage (which seems like a good thing) if God is not at the center it quickly turns to chaos. Peace comes when we grow and desire a marriage with God at the center.

Peace comes when we grow and desire a marriage with God at the center.

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Plant your roots in Christ and let him be the foundation for your life. Be strong in your faith, just as you were taught. And be grateful.

Don’t let anyone fool you by using senseless arguments. These arguments may sound wise, but they are only human teachings. They come from the powers of this world[a] and not from Christ.

God lives fully in Christ. Colossians 2:7-9

I was sharing all of this with my friend, Ailie from P3Alive, and she shared this with me:

There’s an old saying: “Two heads are better than one.” Turns out it’s biblical too.

Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

When God created marriage it was birthed out of his desire for Jesus to have a bride. He wanted us to experience the fullness of intimacy that the Triune God share. So he created marriage (man and woman) to be rooted in him (the third part). Without God life and marriage is just that much harder. With God we find ourselves strengthened and two becoming one yet remaining different. Together we have the support we need to face life. We have an ally and someone who can bring out the best in us. Our spouse becomes that iron that sharpens iron. They also become that beautiful resting place when we are weary and need encouragement. Often our spouse is the closest we can get to experience God’s heart in a physical everyday way. Marriage is the full revelation of the relationship between each member of the Trinity. And we get to experience it. WOW!

Focus on the Family has a great post about this and why having a marriage with God at the center is so important:

Most couples do not realize that glorifying God is the deeper meaning of a Biblical marriage. In most marriages, the focus on Jesus is the missing puzzle piece to the abundance God planned. We seek the ways of the world (riches, lust, vanity, self-absorption) to guide us in marriage, while Jesus is waiting for us to seek Him through His Word. Gary Thomas, in his book Sacred Marriage #aff, says, “What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?”

A marriage between a husband and wife is not about them, but about God, and how running after Him, and taking the focus off of ourselves, gives us the abundant marriage He wants for us.

What does a marriage focused on Christ offer? It offers us guidance from the Bible, such as insight on how to love one another, how Christ looks at our spouse as a broken sinner just like ourselves, direction on how to live out Scripture, and God’s wisdom and knowledge about how to love each other. The fullness of God’s plan and order works so well because God created it, “and God saw all that he had made, and it was very good” (Genesis 1:31).

When we ignore God’s plan, we end up frustrated, trying to control our lives on our own. The focus in our marriage can become a form of, “if you scratch my back I will scratch yours.” It’s like we have an unwritten contract where each spouse maintains a list in the back of their mind, hoping their spouse will perform. Yet this only leads to anger, bitterness and frustration. When expectations are not met, conflict only grows.

God’s plan for us is just the opposite. He wants each of us to forsake our own desires and live for Christ, not ourselves. A biblical marriage is one in which each spouse submits themselves to Christ and seeks after God’s purposes, not their own.

Because we are married, we are one with our husbands. A lot of the struggles in marriage come from trying to act on our own as if what we do does not affect our spouse. We might be two trees (two people) but we share the same roots and what I do absolutely affects my husband. I want to do everything I can to make sure I am rooted in God so that when my husband needs to draw life or support from me, God can help me. If we did not have a marriage with God at the center he would only have me to draw from and would come up empty and still seeking.

I want a marriage with God at the center, rooted in Christ, so that if one of us starts to pull away or life just gets in the way… God will draw us back. The devil doesn’t want my marriage to succeed. If he can drive a wedge between us he knows that bitterness towards each other and eventually God will follow. Trials will come and we will have problems. This is why it is so important that every day we make the choice to put God first and have a marriage with God at the center.

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen. Ephesians 3:14-21

Give Thanks to God | Stacy Hudson | Better Than Newlyweds

November 21, 2016 by Mrs. Hudson

Give thanks to God. It not only shows our gratitude but it reminds us where all our blessings come from.

In marriage, it is easy to get caught up in the day to day and start to look to each other for what we need. However, we set ourselves and our husbands up for failure when we do that. When we make a choice to give thanks to God it changes our perspective. Sure, our spouses bless us and so we look to them with appreciation but we must be careful not to look to them with expectations only God can fulfill. They are a gift from God.

People receive houses and money from their parents, but a good wife is a gift from the Lord. Proverbs 19:14

We should give thanks regardless of how we feel.

I know there have been points in my life where I did not feel like giving thanks to God… for anything. I looked around and in that moment didn’t see anything good. I wanted to get mad and say anything but words of thankfulness. But I knew that God was still God no matter my circumstances. I knew I should give thanks out of obedience to His word.

Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk, or crude joking, which are out of character, but rather thanksgiving. Ephesians 5:4

A Psalm of David when he feigned madness before Abimelech, who drove him away and he departed. I will bless the LORD at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. Psalm 34:1
And whatever you do, in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. Colossians 3:17

Give thanks in every circumstance, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:18

In those situations, as soon as I start to give thanks my attitude changes and every where I look there is something to thank God for. Did everything change in that instance? No, what changed was my focus. Instead of giving in to my feelings I decided to give in to my faith. My feelings have led me astray but my faith in Jesus has not. Our feelings and emotions are our flesh. We must do everything we can to welcome God and His presence in to our lives so that we can live by His spirit instead of our flesh.

He who trusts in his own heart is a fool Proverbs 28:26a

The heart is deceitful above all things Jeremiah 17:9a

All the “bad” that was going on… was still going on… but in that moment I could see the good God was working out of the bad.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

We have been married almost 6 years. God has done a lot in those years. We have been through a lot. Sometimes we have felt like giving up. We have wrestled with the thought that our lives would be easier if we didn’t pursue what God was calling us to do. The truth is our lives probably would be easier but they would not be Godly.

The thing that made our hard times harder instead of heavenly was when our focus was on us and not Him. When I was looking to my husband to bring balance and peace to my life it put pressure on him that was not his to bear. And it went both ways. We are getting faster at recognizing when we are doing this. We are trying to realize quicker so that we can readjust. When we are impatient with one another or when there seems to be a lot of miscommunication going on… our perspectives need changing not our circumstances. In those times we need to focus on God and all of His goodness and give thanks.

Would it be easier for us and for our marriage if God would just change our circumstances? YES! Of course it would. But would that be the best for us? Would that prepare us for heaven? Would that draw anyone else to Jesus by our actions and obedience? Would that bring us closer together as a couple? Would that grow our faith and deepen our relationship with God? No.

When we give thanks to God we grow our faith. When we depend on God individually it brings us closer as a couple. When others see how we point to Jesus in hard times they will be drawn to Him. Life is hard. Marriage is Hard. But if we let it… it will prepare us for Heaven.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. John 16:33

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. Ephesians 3:20-21

Life is hard. Marriage is Hard. But if we let it… it will prepare us for Heaven.

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It is time to celebrate! It has been one year! | Stacy Hudson | Better Than Newlyweds

October 31, 2016 by Mrs. Hudson

It is time to celebrate! I struggled for the longest time to write on a regular basis. It wasn’t until I finally was obedient to the call to write from God that I was able to do it. It has been one year since I wrote about how God called me to write. I was looking back over the posts I’ve written in the last year and thought sharing a bit from the top 5 visited posts would be a fun way to celebrate all that God has done.

10 encouraging Bible verses for your marriage. |Stacy Hudson|Better Than Newlyweds

One of the verses from the most read blog post, “10 encouraging Bible verse for your marriage“, is 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

God has really used the verse to help me show me that Love is not just some mushy gushy feeling we have. Love is a choice. Love is hard work. Love is worth it. I have learned how to apply this to my marriage more but He has also shown me how to apply this to other relationships as well. Love makes all the difference.

Reviving the Intimacy in Your Marriage | Stacy Hudson | Better Than Newlyweds

I was very surprised when my post on reviving the intimacy on your marriage became the second most read post in one day! It just showed me how much people want to keep their marriages strong. Intimacy in a marriage is so important. Just like it is in our relationship with Jesus. If we do not make time for alone time with Him our relationship with Him will suffer. If we do not make intimacy with our husbands a priority our relationship will suffer.

I know that at the beginning of our marriage I left more sweet notes for my husband. I know we both did more thoughtful things. It is not that we care any less about each other now… it’s just our minds are consumed with other thoughts. And even though they are good thoughts, mostly about our daughter, it affects our intimacy. I want our daughter to reap the same benefits I am because we decided to invest in our marriage. I want us to be better than when we were newlyweds. That isn’t just some cute name I came up with for my blog. It is the cry of my heart for our marriage…for every marriage. I can leave more notes. I can make more of an effort. I think we all can. And I think it will be worth it.

Can we “affair proof” our marriages? | Stacy Hudson | Better Than Newlyweds

The devil has no new tricks. He will do whatever he can to cause division and separation in your marriage. We knew this was true for our marriage as well. We want to do our best to prevent any division in our marriage. This was very important to us. It is important to all my BTN readers as well who made “Can we affair proof our marriages?” the 3rd most read post.

My husband and I have had a conversation about “affair proofing” our marriage. We talked about ways we could protect ourselves from going down that road and eventually falling off the cliff that is surely at the end. One thing we decided was that we always need to be open with each other. This means that our phones, email accounts, and bank accounts are an open book. This is one of the many reasons we have a shared bank account. We are one… and we try to live in a way that keeps us together as much as possible.

If We’re Honest About Past Hurts | Stacy Hudson | Better Than Newlyweds

Over the past year God has taught me a lot about how, if we are not careful, we can let past hurts affect present relationships. This is not how God intended it to be. In our marriages God wants us to be free to be who we are and able to grow. This means we have to trust our husbands. Trusting our husbands is hard if we are holding on to past hurts. The same applies to our friendships. If we’re honest about past hurts (4th most read post) I think we all would have some changes to make.

God has been dealing with me lately about friendships. And I don’t mean casual friendships. I’m not even talking about close friends. I am talking about the kind of relationship that makes a person family. A friendship where the blood of Christ makes you sisters. The kind of friendships I think we all desire to have.

I’ve been wondering why God would have me share so much lately about friendship (or rather the unexplainable sisterhood thru Jesus) here where the focus is marriage. It is simple but yet complex … we need those kind of relationships to grow. We need those kind of relationships to turn us back to Jesus during hard times. We need them during hard times in our marriages to turn us back to our husbands.

The devil Wants to Keep You “Feeling Defeated”| Stacy Hudson | Better Than Newlyweds

The devil has no new tricks. I find myself saying that a lot lately. But it is true. He is always trying to cause strife, division, doubt, and anything else that will keep us feeling defeated. The devil wants to keep you feeling defeated (5th most read post). If he can keep you feeling defeated he can keep you from doing all that God has called you to do. Don’t let him. Press in and pray and serve God anyways.

Life is too short and God is too big to give the devil any help in keeping us feeling defeated. Because of Jesus’ death on the cross and resurrection from the grave the only one who is defeated is the devil! We have to recognize that and walk in victory daily or we help the enemy with his plan to keep us feeling defeated.

I said “feeling defeated” because it is a mindset. If we are in Christ then we already have the victory. The devil knows that but he is going to do all he can to make us feel like we are defeated. We have to do all we can to remain in God’s truth so we know who He is and who we are in Him!

The devil wants to keep you “feeling defeated” by condemning you and reminding you of your past. If he can keep you focused on the mistakes you made before you were “in Christ” he can keep you from walking in victory. Whatever the lie from the enemy is there is always an answer in His word.

In tough times choose unity | Better Than Newlyweds | Guest Blogger: Ailie Baumann

October 17, 2016 by Mrs. Hudson

In tough times choose unity over anger and blame

Unity in marriage is probably one of the best strategies to fireproof your marriage. In the midst of tough times, it becomes easy to get angry with our spouse, jump on the blame wagon or get caught up in the enemy’s attacks.

Of course, the enemy does come to steal, kill and destroy. He is after our families and marriages. However, I would rather focus on keeping a united front with my husband in tough times than give the enemy attention.

Why do I say this? Because one of the best ways to engage in spiritual warfare is to remain in unity with your spouse. Plus, I love being on the receiving end of God’s blessings.

How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!…For there the Lord bestows his blessing, even life forevermore. Psalm 133:1, 3b

This Psalm is one of my favorites. I love the picture the psalmist used to describe unity. It’s part of our worship to the Lord.

This week God really began speaking to me about unity. My hubby and I have been facing a tough financial year. A couple of weeks ago we found out that our finances were back to where they were in March this year. I felt all our efforts had been for naught.

Still, I wasn’t as confronted with the importance of unity until Wednesday night. I was heading for prayer meeting at my church when I got fined by the cops for not renewing my car license (Grrrr). I don’t know who I was angrier at myself, my husband or God.

As I sat watching a testimony being played off YouTube the Lord gently said to me:

Don’t partner with anger or blame; it will break your unity. Keep a united front with Sean.

Immediately, my anger dissolved. Being angry or trying to blame wasn’t going to solve anything. I messaged my hubby and told him that I didn’t want to partner with anger or blame. We are a team and together we will come through our tough times.

Ok. I admit. This week we still had a quarrel so this is a work in progress. That being said, I am aware of unity in our marriage. The more united we are with our spouse, the more our homes are filled with peace, joy, and kindness.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

At the end of the day, speaking to our spouse in anger doesn’t accomplish much. I can’t think of one example in my marriage where anger accomplished anything helpful. No. All anger has done is put a rift between me and my husband. Kindness, gentleness, and genuine encouragement serve to keep our hearts connected to each other.

When we present a united front to the world we enter a “force field” of godly protection. Life and the enemy can shoot darts at us but they merely bounce off hitting the ground ineffective and useless. Hurray.

Our marriages thrive in unity. Fun, flirting and joy echoes through your home causing your children to giggle or shake their ends in amusement at their love struck parents. Secretly, your children’s hearts are warmed at the love and security unity brings to them. Choose today to partner with God and choose unity.

Have you ever lost something dear to you and thought just show up, please?

Or would I line up beside him, raising hands and praising God for His faithfulness?

Treasures in Heaven

So we looked again, thinking just show up, please. Seemed like nothing – except prayer and praise – would raise this thing!

“It just showed up on the top of my dresser, in plain sight.”

About Susan B. Mead:

Marriage with God at the center –

We should seek to have a marriage with God at the center.

Focus on the Family has a great post about this and why having a marriage with God at the center is so important:

Give thanks to God. It not only shows our gratitude but it reminds us where all our blessings come from.

We should give thanks regardless of how we feel.

In tough times choose unity over anger and blame

AFFILIATE DISCLOSURE

“It just showed up on the top of my dresser,
in plain sight.”