newlyweds Archives - Better Than Newlyweds

Date Night Questions

November 16, 2013 by Mrs. Hudson

Date nights are so important. They sound cliche but think about it…cliches become cliches because they are usually obvious truths. Married couples need to date! After a few years of being married some folks feel like they don’t have anything left to talk about! But the truth is you are always changing and so is your spouse. So ask some of these questions on your next date night (you have a date night right?! 🙂 ) and see where the conversation leads. In order to have a marriage better than newlyweds we must continue to get to know our spouse and appreciate who they are and Love them for it.

1. If there was a movie about your life, what songs would you want on the soundtrack?

2. In that movie, what actor past or present would you want to play you?3. If you could have named yourself, what name would you have chosen?4. What is your favorite thing about yourself?

5. What is one thing you wish you could change about yourself?

6. What was your biggest fear when you were a child?

7. What is your biggest fear now?

8. Besides our wedding and the day kids were born, what is your all-time favorite day?

9. What would you do with the money if we won the lottery?

10. What would you do tomorrow if you lost your job and money and we had to start over?

via 21 Date Night Questions | DaveWillis.org.

I think you will be surprised with all that you learn about your spouse. I also think you will be surprised by how learning more about your spouse improves your marriage. The more we know about our spouse the better we can understand their point of view and where they are coming from. We need to constantly be observing our spouse and learning about them so that we can serve them and meet their needs. “Date night” is a way to be sure you get some one on one time.

Have a marriage…not a fight!

September 11, 2013 by Mrs. Hudson

I have heard a lot of ways for couples to…”get on the same page”. You have probably heard them too…Set a goal list, share your dreams with each other, make a 5 years plan, etc. However, sometimes even after couples follow those steps they still have issues feeling like they are on the “same page” with their spouse. I started thinking about why this might be and I realized that if two people are headed in the same direction in marriage… even to the same goal… but are not walking together… they are not having a marriage… they are having a fight!

Take a look at this map…they both start at point A and end up at point B…but the route they take to get there is very different…they definitely didn’t carpool!

How does this happen? Or maybe a better question is how to KEEP this from happening? I think one way is to never stop talking… sharing…each step, each turn, each choice needs to be made together…as a team… just as if you were carpooling with your spouse… you would be incapable of going 2 different directions while riding in the same car! In marriage I think we forget sometimes that we ARE riding in the same car! That means sometimes we might need to slow down so our spouse feels comfortable or that we need to take a different road so they can unload some emotional baggage somewhere along the way. Be sure to ask your spouse if they have any stops to make or if you are driving too fast. 🙂

Although the above idea makes sense…I think there is another way to look at it… that being the fact that even though you and your spouse may want to end up in the same place… you may be in different places in your life to start the journey. Yes, you are married and in the same place as far as that goes BUT spiritually you are more than likely in VERY different places. I can also imagine being that men and women are very different I am willing to go out on a limb and say that you both are in different places emotionally as well. This means that more than likely… not only is the route you take to the same destination going to be different…but your starting points will be different also. Take this map for instance… one route stays on land while the other uses the water. You might need to get your feet wet while your spouse might need to stay on dry land. The beauty of that thought though…while it seems impossible to do both at once and still stay together on the journey… it is possible… and while walking together hand in hand the view is beautiful. The way to get your feet wet while letting your spouse stay on dry land is… a stroll on the beach hand in hand. It may not be as wet as you had planned to get… or as safe or dry as your spouse wanted…but you are together. Some may call that settling or giving in/up…but I think it is not settling for a mediocre marriage… it is striving to be better than when you were newlyweds…not giving up on your marriage and doing things as if you were both single. You are a team…and sometimes that means going at the pace of the slowest team member in order to finish the race. And I’m not sure finishing the race or accomplishing your goals is the true point of being married… I think the point is doing whatever you are doing… together.

For better or worse.

For richer or poorer.

In sickness and in health.

Until death do us part.

A Forever Dance

August 23, 2013 by Charity Rios

Hello Readers!

My name is Charity, and I am the newest addition to the “Better than Newlyweds” team. Thanks so much to everyone for the opportunity to be a part of this wonderful blog.

They called all the married couples onto the dance floor for a contest, at a wedding I recently attended.

Immediately, I grabbed my husband’s hand yanking him away from his fettuccini. I love contests especially if there is even a hint of a prize. A familiar Frank Sinatra tune began to play as the DJ explained the rules, all the married couples would dance and as they called out numbers 1,5,10, 25 ect…if you had been married for fewer years than that number, you would leave the dance floor. The couple married the longest would remain dancing and be the winners.

My husband and I having our first dance at our wedding! So excited to spend forever with this man. Photo: Lauren Jones Photography

My husband and I have been married for almost a year, so I knew we would be out the first round.

As we sat back down again, my husband joyfully reunited with his fettuccini, I watched in awe as two couples remained. They were holding each other as they called out: “5 years, 15 years, how about 30 years? 45 years, 50 years…60 years!”

The two couples faces beamed with joy and pride as they looked out at the wedding guests. I began to weep. It was a day when a man and women covenanted their lives together. And it was a day two couples could stand, one couple barely able to maneuver themselves to the center of the room, because they knew the steps of faithfulness. They were rocking to the cadence of covenant.

I wasn’t sure if the swaying was dancing or the wobbling of tierd muscles, because they all needed a bit of support to stay vertical. Regardless, they held eachother tenderly and fiercely. With each subtle step across the floor, I saw a richness of love that only years of faithfulness can grow, I heard the sweetness of covenant unbroken with each feable step, and I felt the presence of God swelling above the music, His whispers singing, “this is what you were made for.”

I want so many things in life: to publish a book, to travel to Europe, to never burn dinner in the oven because I was pinteresting, to figure out how to control my curly locks, to go a whole week without being late,.. to anything. In the midst of my plans, dreams and agenda I glimpsed a rythm of profound purpose – to love my husband, to be faithful to Him with my mind, body and soul, and to respect and encourage Him better everyday.

In our less than a year of married bliss, we have already had many “discussions” (our nice way of saying arguments). We have hurt eachother’s feelings, and apologized for wrong. But we have also agreed, agreed to disagree, encouraged, sacrificed and forgiven. We have faced the challenge and sorrow of miscarrying two sweet babies. I know there will be many challenges ahead. I can’t wait to dance, shuffle, and some days wobble through everyone with my amazing husband for the next 59 years.

AFFILIATE DISCLOSURE