Learning to balance marriage and…well everything else… is harder than I thought it would be…yanno…when I thought about marriage and I was single and naive about marriage!
I had no clue what it meant to balance marriage and everything else. At that point I doubt I even considered the balancing act adding a child to my marriage would require. We are at a point in our lives where we are busier than ever. This means that we must make each other a priority now more than ever. If we do not do this I think a few things would happen. We would lose each other in the blur of life. We would not be showing our daughter what a Godly marriage looks like, especially in busy times.
I’ve sought out advice on how to balance marriage and everything else from wives who have been married longer than me. I have learned a lot over the past 5 years of marriage but I know I will always have more to learn.
Allie of www.p3alive.com shares her thoughts on keeping a strong marriage amidst the demands of parenthood:
Being a family of five has come with its challenges. Often I feel pulled in different directions doubting myself as a wife and a mom. How do you keep a strong marriage amidst the demands of parenthood? Often sacrificially. I ask God “what does my husband need today?” I follow what I feel is God’s reply. Sometimes it means keeping quiet, sometimes it’s space, and other times it’s acts of kindness and love. Yes, its hard. I have had to put my needs aside often to build my hubby up. I remind myself that the best gift I can give my children is a happy marriage. Marriage is all about unconditional and sacrificial love. It’s about laying your life down for your spouse and watching your marriage flourish.
Another thing I have learned is to not get on the whose right and whose wrong wagon. It doesn’t matter. What matters is heart connection. What am I doing to keep my heart connected to my spouse.As 1 Corinthians 13 says love keeps no record of wrongs.Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
In order to successfully balance marriage and everything else you must set priorities.
Setting priorities and being able to keep them is a game changer in marriage. I think it is a game changer in life. Period. Making sure those priorities are in the right order is key. In a marriage with children it is easy to fall into the mindset of putting the children first. It sounds like a good and noble thing to do, right? While it may feel like that I really think in the long run it is not good for your marriage or your children. One day your kid(s) won’t be there and if you have not cultivated your marriage for those 18+ years they are around… you will have no fruits to show for all of those years. If you have not watered your marriage while you also raised children… you will end up in a desert rather than a lush forest. Which place would you rather be?
Liz from My Messy Desk shares about setting the right priorities and making needed changes:
While my priorities never change – God, husband, kids, self, vocation, serving others – the time and attention required by each of those differs with the seasons and ages.
Both the beginning and the end of the school year are opportune times to fine tune my schedule. So are, New Years Day, every time we move, and when my hubby deploys or comes home.
Intentionally focusing on my priorities from God’s perspective brings clarity, purpose, and increased productivity. And that makes for a much healthier and happier me.
So, I want to share with you the questions I ask myself at these points of pause when I overhaul my schedule.
- What is going well in my life?
- Where could I stand to make some improvements?
- What important tasks keep getting pushed to the bottom of my to-do list?
- What am I doing that doesn’t align with my priorities or add value to my life?
- Are there any new inherent responsibilities during this season?
- Have any previous commitments expired freeing up time for other opportunities?
- Which of my priorities requires the greatest investment of time now?
- When are my most productive blocks of time?
- What do I need more of to feel fulfillment in my life?
- What is draining my energy, inspiration, or delight with the life I’m living?
I block off time to spend in prayer and ask God to guide my thoughts and responses in accordance with His purposes. Then I journal the answers as they relate to each of my priorities. To help guide you through the process I created a free printable worksheet just for you.
*Download your free printable here: Makeover My Schedule Worksheet.
Eventually, the time comes to make hard decisions. Some things must go. It’s inevitable. But the blow is softened when this intentional process ensures that what remains or is added aligns precisely with God’s priorities for my life.
Prayer as a priority helps us balance marriage and everything life throws at us.
Because we value prayer, it has become a priority in our marriage.We pray together each night before the baby goes to sleep. This is something we started before I got pregnant. It changed our marriage. We are now teaching our daughter the importance of prayer. She even knows now that when Daddy says “In Jesus’ Name” that it’s time to say “Amen!” and she does so with joy!
Amanda from newlifeovernight.com shares about their nightly routine and what keeps their marriage strong:
One thing that keeps my marriage strong with kids and work is that every night after we put the kids to bed, we make sure that we spend time together. We get our showers and watch TV in bed or read in bed together. We say a prayer together and read a chapter in the Bible. This helps keep our marriage strong.
Another thing that helps us balance marriage and everything else is … date nights!
While it is hard to make the time sometimes…we know that date nights are important. We are very blessed and live close to both sets of grand parents! Both sets Love keeping our daughter and we try to drop her off and have a date night at least once a month. It doesn’t always work out and sometimes we end up having date night at home. No matter how or where it happens we both know that by being alone and able to focus on one another on a date… reconnects us and keeps our Love tanks full.
How do you balance marriage and everything else?! What ways do you continue to date in your marriage?
If this helped you please share it with a friend… or even better…. your spouse! 😀 Thanks!