I’ll admit it.  I used to judge you.  Yea you, the parents with the kids, who often dropped their kids off or got a baby sitter and went out without them.  The horror…

I am older and wiser now, and even apologetic for my judgmental behavior.  After having my first child, I was THAT mom.  I was the mom who completely submerged herself in the dream that was motherhood.  We had bath time, and bedtime, and play time and clean up time, and all before my kid was even old enough to appreciate the structure.

While I am still a huge advocate for schedules, I have realized the error of my ways.  My regimen dictated every aspect of our lives.  I completely forgot about the fact that I was even a wife because– oh Holy Grail–  I was a MOTHER.  What’s worse is that I somehow justified that I was being a good wife by being a good mother.  I was wrong…

We no longer have only one child, and I have realized somewhere in the madness that my most important calling, above all else, is being a wife.  Parents, let me let you in on a little secret.  The best thing you can do for your children is to focus on your marriage.  A happy marriage makes a happy home.  Conversely, an unhappy marriage makes an unhappy home.  And I can tell you that your children, whether 6 months, 6 or 16, REALIZE when your marriage is unhappy.

Now most certainly, I am by no means advocating negligence or abandonment.  But do you know what?  In some years, those kiddies that you are so focused on are inevitably going to get their own life.  And they will leave you behind.  Do you know what you will be left with?  That sweet spouse with which you embarked on the journey.  Don’t let them become a stranger in the process.

Sure you may have piano lessons, football practice, homework, and Parent Night.  Life is full of obligations and responsibilities that often leave us in a whirlwind.  But don’t forget to treat your spouse as a priority.  You are a HUSBAND.  You are a WIFE.  A parent, yes.  But a spouse first.  Go on a date.  Get some coffee.  Take 30 minutes after the kids are asleep to just TALK.  Whatever it takes.  Take time today to focus on your spouse…