Every year on February 14th couples celebrate their Love for one another. I am all for showering your husband/wife with Love and gifts on Valentine’s day. However, I can’t help but wonder how much our marriages would improve if we treated every day like Valentine’s day… at least a little. I’m not talking about big heart shaped boxes of chocolate every day or even flowers every day. I am talking about a mind set that I think would drastically improve marriages.
On Valentine’s Day we do whatever we do and give the gifts we give with one goal… to make our husband/wife feel Loved. What if we did that every day? What if we lived every day with the mind set “what can I do today to make them feel my Love?” Would that change your marriage at all?
I know that my husband appreciates it when I set up the coffee to brew for him in the morning automatically so it is ready when he wakes up. I try to do this every night … and was pretty successful until we had our baby girl and I became sleep deprived (ha!) … but I know this is one thing I can do to show him my Love. It doesn’t have to be this grand gesture or expensive gift. I think some of the most meaningful gifts only cost us time.
I appreciate sweet little notes or encouraging words from my husband. If he saw a pile of paperwork for something I’m working on and simply put a post it note on top that says “You’re doing great things!”…my day would be made… probably my week! And I use this example because he is wonderful and has done something like this more than once.
I would venture to say that a lot of marriages would benefit from daily hugs. Just a long heart felt hug…nothing more and nothing less. A 20 second hug releases the bonding hormone and neurotransmitter Oxytocin. Oxytocin helps curb depression and anxiety. What an awesome creator we have, right? That the simplest show of affection… a hug… causes our bodies to react in such a way that we can literally alter the mood of the person we are hugging. Amazing.
What does Love look like in the Bible?
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Romans 12:10
A little friendly competition is good right? “Outdo one another in showing honor.” … What do you think that looks like?
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16
God gave us His only Son for us because of His Love for us. Surely we can give up something for our husband/wife or make a sacrifice for them to show them our Love! What do you think that looks like?
Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13
What can you “lay down” for your husband/wife? Maybe for some it would be pride or selfishness. Maybe for others it would be more literal… their cell phone, TV, or video game. What do you think that looks like?
Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. 1 John 3:18
Love is not lip service. We must show our love “in deed.” If you say you are going to do something…do it. If you make a promise… keep it. What do you think that looks like?
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1 Cor 13:4-8
Because God is Love you can put “God” in place of “Love” in this scripture. It is very comforting to read it that way:
God is patient, God is kind. God does not envy, God does not boast, God is not proud. God does not dishonor others, God is not self-seeking, God is not easily angered, God keeps no record of wrongs. God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. God always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. God never fails.
I just tried something that was not so comforting to read. I put my name in the place of Love… and realized I have work to do. Put your name in the blanks… do you have work to do?
_______ is patient, _______ is kind. _______ does not envy, _______ does not boast, _______ is not proud. _______ does not dishonor others, _______ is not self-seeking, _______ is not easily angered, _______ keeps no record of wrongs. _______ does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. _______ always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
I took off the last verse “Love never fails” because I am human and will fail. In fact I failed yesterday…on Valentine’s Day! But with God’s help I will do better each day… and my husband will feel more Loved every day.