Trusting God in the valleys of marriage is not an option, it’s a must. That is, if you want to make it out of the valley. If you like it there the enemy of your soul is more than happy to keep you comfortable. I have a feeling that deep down no one really wants to stay in the valley. However, I do believe God will use every valley to reveal Himself to us and bring us closer to His heart… if we let Him.
Recently, I was listening to a song that mentioned being in a valley and this image hit me. I saw a dry hot valley that was suddenly flooded and filled with water rising to the mountaintops! It got me thinking about how we try to climb out of the valleys of marriage (and life) in our own strength. When we fail we feel defeated. We feel like God has forgotten about us at our lowest point. If we would only realize that God is waiting on our surrender. That in the valleys is where we learn to trust Him deeper than ever before. Once we trust Him deeper than ever before He will take us higher than ever before. God wants to flood the valleys of marriage we find ourselves in… once we surrender to Him. He will carry us to the mountaintop in the sea of His Love, Grace, and Mercy!!!
I am blessed to have friends who are willing to share about the valleys of marriage they have gone through or are going through. These are real women talking about real valleys of marriage and how they made it through with God!
In our second year of marriage, our relationship went through a really tough time. The effects of this lasted for many years after. At the time, I wasn’t sure if our marriage would survive but I can reassure you that God never left my side. I would speak to him constantly, I would cry in his presence and I would lay myself down exhausted at his throne. I think sometimes when you feel that sheer desperation in a situation is when God comes and works His holiness. In many ways, God taught me how to pray and then wait. I had to let God do his work through both of us during that time and not try to take matters into my own hands. If you are going through a valley in your marriage then I would encourage you to pray and seek God’s way and then let go of your control and let God do what he does best.
Megan Watson – www.myfaithtree.com
About year 6, we went through a very rough time. Honestly, looking back, as much as it pains me to admit, it was almost 2 years of not feeling any sort of love for my husband. My biggest words of encouragement now looking back, which I often share are 1. Hang in there. It will get better again, if you don’t make it worse. 2. Your commitment in your marriage is to God and it is not in relation to your husband’s behavior. 3.Keep on serving your family and others around you. 4. Read through the Psalms. Satan is your enemy not your husband. Focus on truth and not feelings!
Nickole Perry – The Mom I Want to Be
Over the past five years I have been in a marriage with a man who is having a faith crisis. Regularly I can feel this separateness creeping into our marriage because of his current views towards Jesus. My heart aches and many tears have streamed down my face. While I am not out of this season in my marriage, I am finding Ps 84:5-7 seems to be God’s work right now. He is making springs in wastelands. He is changing the landscape. Through all of this, I find myself clinging to God and every promise he has ever made both to me and in the Bible. I hold tight to them. I am learning to trust him as good and faithful. My encouragement to other wives is don’t give up. Love your husband with every fibre of your being. Ask God to show you how to express your love to your husband in a way that will minister deeply to him. Hold him in the highest regard, believe in him, pray over him (even if it is in secret). Above all, pray out of love, wage war out of love not fear. Love is the greatest weapon you have. Love is God himself.
Ailie Baumann – www.p3alive.com
If you are going through valleys of marriage right now… pray.
Ask God to show you what He wants to do in you while in the valleys of marriage. Then trust that when the time is right He will carry you to the mountaintop.
I would Love to connect with you and hear how you make it through the valleys of marriage. If you have insight of your own to share please comment below or email me via the contact page!
1How lovely are Your dwelling places,
O LORD of hosts!
2My soul longed and even yearned for the courts of the LORD;
My heart and my flesh sing for joy to the living God.
3The bird also has found a house,
And the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young,
Even Your altars, O LORD of hosts,
My King and my God.
4How blessed are those who dwell in Your house!
They are ever praising You.
5How blessed is the man whose strength is in You,
In whose heart are the highways to Zion!
6Passing through the valley of Baca they make it a spring;
The early rain also covers it with blessings.
7They go from strength to strength,
Every one of them appears before God in Zion.
8O LORD God of hosts, hear my prayer;
Give ear, O God of Jacob!
9Behold our shield, O God,
And look upon the face of Your anointed.
10For a day in Your courts is better than a thousand outside.
I would rather stand at the threshold of the house of my God
Than dwell in the tents of wickedness.
11For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
The LORD gives grace and glory;
No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.
12O LORD of hosts,
How blessed is the man who trusts in You!