How to be a Trustworthy Wife | Stacy Hudson | Better Than Newlyweds

Don’t you want to be a trustworthy wife? I know I do. I want my husband to know he can trust me and depend on me just like I trust and depend on him. We are a team. God is our coach. (Cheesy yes… but also true.)

” The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain.” Proverbs 31:11-12

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I have read this verse many time before in my lifetime but this last time I read it God kept it in my mind. I kept thinking about the part where he would have “no lack of gain.” Who wouldn’t want that for their husbands right? I want that for him so badly because he works so hard. What hit me this time was the part that came before it, the precursor if you will to the “no lack of gain” part, was about me.

This got me thinking and asking questions. It made me take a personal inventory. Does this mean that if my husband can’t trust me he will have lack and no gain? Does this mean if he lacks confidence in me that that will result in lack? What can I do to earn his trust and confidence? How can I be a trustworthy wife? The very next verse answers that question.

She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life. Proverbs 31:12

He will trust me when I do him good and not evil. He will have confidence in me when I encourage and help him. The trustworthy wife seeks to do him good all the days of her life.

As much as we might want it to the Bible doesn’t say “the husband who is constantly corrected or put down by his wife will have no lack of gain” …it says the opposite! The Bible brings up “nagging” (or similar words) several times. That means we should take note and then take inventory of our motives.

Better to live on the corner of a roof
than to share a house with a nagging wife. Proverbs 21:9

Better to live in a wilderness
than with a nagging and hot-tempered wife. Proverbs 21:19

And another repetition…which means “pay attention”

Better to live on the corner of a roof

than to share a house with a nagging wife. Proverbs 25:24

I do not think most wives “nag” on purpose. I think the majority of us truly want our husbands to do well and feel that we can help them if they would only listen to us. If that is not your motivation I would beg you to search your heart and ask God to help you in that area.

In order to be a trustworthy wife we must acknowledge that God’s thoughts are higher than our thoughts and His plans greater than our plans.

What if we are hindering our husbands instead of helping? What if we are also hindering ourselves?

What if we realized that our help comes from God so we should let God be our husband’s help as well?!? We would see that in giving up that control and the need to fix him and put him down the path we want for him…not only would he gain freedom but we would gain freedom as well. It was never God’s intention our husband’s choices to sit on our shoulders. When we give that up and give it to God… it is in His hands and it is on Him to bring the “no lack of gain”to pass.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55:8-9

Psalm 121

My Help Comes from the Lord
A Song of Ascents.

121 I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot be moved;
he who keeps you will not slumber.
4 Behold, he who keeps Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The Lord is your keeper;
the Lord is your shade on your right hand.
6 The sun shall not strike you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The Lord will keep you from all evil;
he will keep your life.
8 The Lord will keep
your going out and your coming in
from this time forth and forevermore.

If I am always seeking God’s heart my husband’s heart is safe and he can trust me. If I always look to God for my help then my husband can trust me.

If I am always seeking God’s heart my husband’s heart is safe and he can trust me.

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My friend Ailie from www.p3alive.com shared with me how she fights for her husband’s heart and how her husband can trust her when God is her anchor. She is a trusthworthy wife because she draws he strength and peace from God.

I fight for my husband’s heart by running to Jesus. It doesn’t matter how different we are in our spiritual views. The more I am in God’s presence the more equipped I am to love deeply, extend utmost respect and treat his heart sensitively. God is my anchor. He keeps me steady. This is where my hubby can find himself trusting me. I can handle life because God handles me. Instead of being caught up in the whirlwinds of circumstances, my hubby can lean into the peace and strength God brings to me and also to him through me.

A trustworthy wife is the crown of her husband

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4

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I want to be the crown of my husband. I do not want to bring him shame and rottenness in his bones. There is no middle ground and no grey area. The options are clear but that doesn’t mean the choice is easy. It is hard to give up control when we love them so much. It is hard to give up what we desire for them because we care so much. However, I think that is exactly why we must give up control. So, maybe the choice isn’t that hard after all?